Bowiewhore

"You're like the Greek God of love, Aphrodite, with a grip like a Doberman" - Michael Barrett c.2007
"It's fun being you .. I feel all fruity!" - Ted Melhuish c.2007"You don't look like the kind of person who eats sandwiches" - Michelle Isaac c.2004"I'm so glad I met you, I can't contemplate life without you" - Mark Hasselholdt c.2004
"You're a nasty piece of work Nadine Watts" - Colette St.Jean c.2004
"You look swell" - Sarah Jessica Parker c.2005.
"You should've gone to spec savers" (with reference to my huge 70's sunglasses) - Random rude trailor trash with too much fake tan and make-up c.2005
"Your womb is so barren, you have tumbleweeb rolling across it" - My Dad c.2006
"You don't look like you're from Colchester ... you look like one of them Chelmsford girls" - Dave Ross c.2007
"You're a cross between Sophie Tucker, Shirley Maclaine, Albert Steptoe, and something else funny, big-hearted or demonic... not sure which yet..." - Jon Dee c.2007
"You look like the debris from a 70's car crash" - Stephen Bryant c.2007
"Instantly recognisable .. a kaleidoscope of colour" - Rob's Dad c.2007
"Your random outbursts of unhappiness are the only thing that keep me sane!" - Richard Baker c.2007
"As nice as Pimms" - Charlotte Gardner c.2007 In a geordie Big Brother-esque voice " YOU DECIDE !!! ".
Im just a simple, complicated woman. I take my tea white, medium, half a flat sugar ... or preferably sweeteners if you have some of those instead ... and caffeine free tea would be good ... and semi-skinned milk please ... and can I have it in my special mug? Actually, make that a lemon, ginger and echinacea tea instead ... teaspoon of honey please. So, what else ? Well, Im obsessed with plucking my eyebrows. Buying shoes makes me very happy. I dont do pink and fluffy. I like people-watching. I dont like back-stabbers. I adore anything kitsch. I have three guitars, two acoustic, and one electric. When it starts, I love driving my 1972 VW campervan. I like it when my hip bones crack. Im a trained dancer, but cant freestyle for toffee-nuts. Music is the wallpaper of my life and going to gigs and festivals is my favourite thing to do. My longest relationship is 10 yrs and my shortest is one day ... actually, does that even constitute a relationship ?? I have 3 tattoos. I have 7 piercings. I like patterns and colours to clash. My cup is half full. I love my friends unconditionally. I like Barcelona. I like bread. I hate butter or margarine that isnt a bright shade of yellow ... keep that reduced salt, low fat white stuff to yourself ! I like yellow butter on my bread, in fact, I like bread on my yellow butter (i.e. I like a lot of yellow butter!) I like disco balls and confetti. I like to laugh so hard that I hurt, cry and have trouble breathing. The first 7" I bought was Right Now by The Creatures. I like Camden. I have 34 pairs of sunglasses. Id give you everything, but mess with me and Ill rip your throat out. I like leopard skin, peacock feathers and butterflies. Im listening to the best of Dolly Parton as Im typing this, Ive just discovered that quite frankly, she rocks. I like vintage clothes. I do everything in high heels. I prefer baths to showers. I like chocolate. Im friends with all my exs (except one). I believe in fate. I dont watch soap operas. I like sleeping in the afternoon. I can wiggle my left ear, but not the right one. Ive been paying for gym membership for about 3 yrs, but havent been for at least 18 months. Your mum was lying to you when she said that they were only jealous. I can get my fist in my mouth. I miss the Mark & Lard show. I like chandeliers. There are things that I don't understand, but would like to understand. There are things that I don't understand that I never want to understand. I dont like it when people write in text language. When I get excited my eye's water, this is a medical condition I refer to as "chingy" ... I get chingy a lot ... I guess I must be quite excitable! My favourite film is Breakfast on Pluto. I like playing old 78's on my gramophone. Im a self diagnosed Tourettes sufferer. I like making things. I say it like it is. When I die, "Wild Is The Wind" and "Nadine" will be played at my funeral, and my remains will be made in to diamonds and fireworks. I love passion. My philosophy: Love, like you've never been hurt; The best way to resist temptation is to succumb to it, because then there is no temptation to resist; Never be rich, always be lucky. If you can't fix it with gaffa tape, you haven't used enough !
Oh yeah, and David Bowie rocks my world.
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