The Dez ™ profile picture

The Dez ™

Jack Off of All Trades, Master of Nuns

About Me

Incurable smart ass, social retard, Rockstar. I'm the kind of hot shot comedian that gets bras thrown at him. Once in a while, a falsie pops out and someone gets hurt but that's why people sign waivers. It's really like that.Mini Bio:
My style has an edgy, take-no-prisoners feel to it that I believe challenges while it entertains. Not for the faint of heart or the easily offended. But I do love it when those people get caught in the crosshairs... 7 Years experience doing stand up comedy in the Twin Cities and in San Francisco, I've opened for Jeff Cesario,Scott Hansen, Jeff Gerbino and countless others. Performing in Minneapolis has given me the opportunity to try literally thousands of jokes out and perform alongside awesome local talent like Chad Daniels(comedy ctrl), Isaac Witty(Letterman),Dennis Anton, Josh Blue, Lizzy Cooperman(last comic standing), and why the fuck haven't I moved to L.A. yet? Don't answer that.

My Interests

being totally Ov it. .. width="425" height="350" ..
My Comedy Mentor. .. width="425" height="350" ..A 48HR Film Project that didn't turn out half bad. Women can't resist a man in unitard.

I'd like to meet:

Everybody's on Facebook

Music:

Dj Frank Mooney , Krazy-Eyes Killah, Goat Punishment, Wycked Sceptre, Indomitable Spirit, The Ruttles, 3 Times One Minus One, Spinal Tap, Altar Boyz, Banana Splitz, Puscifier, Titannnica, Flattop and the Purple Canoes,The Partridge Family, Special Delivery, Chris Gaines

Movies:

Motion City Soundtrack LG FUAD.
Coffeshop Guy 2.
Music Video available on Motion City Soundtrack's Commit This To Memory: Deluxe Edition as a video extra.

Television:

Mr. Show, Twin Peaks, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Sketch Pad, SCTV, Monty, Twin Peaks, Entourage, My Name is Earl, Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Books:

Chuck Palahniuk, Kurt Vonegut, William S Burroughs, Bukowski, Anthony Burgess

Heroes:

From The 48 Hour Film Project 2006, a Mockumenary we churned out in a couple days. I play SAJ, the interpretive dancer.

My Blog

Dolly Parton

Dolly Parton has cancelled her North American tour, citing "Back Problems." I think she's just bragging again. Bragging about her 80 year old ginormous rack. I've got a huge pair too but you don't see...
Posted by The Dez ™ on Thu, 14 Feb 2008 06:01:00 PST

Superbowl Thought

Was I excited for Superbowl Sunday coming around. Was I excited for Superbowl Sunday coming around? Not really. I enjoy a super*bowl every day. And that's not a drug thing; it's a coco puffs thing. Yo...
Posted by The Dez ™ on Mon, 04 Feb 2008 05:21:00 PST

Live Comedy in The Twin Cities < $3

For 3 bucks or less, there are a ****load of great opportunities to see and perform Live COMEDY in the Twin Cities. Print this list and put it on your fridge. Then reach inside the fridge and grab me ...
Posted by The Dez ™ on Sat, 11 Aug 2007 10:18:00 PST

Crazy Gramma Space Party!

What one thing does every successful band have in common? A great name. What quality is second? A gimmicky concept. Third is a willingness to work with the Jews. You might be asking yourself, where do...
Posted by The Dez ™ on Thu, 03 Jan 2008 02:44:00 PST

Bill Clinton Tears a Heckler

This is beautiful. ...
Posted by The Dez ™ on Thu, 03 Jan 2008 01:27:00 PST

Let Pauly Shore be a lesson to me - Heckler Mismanagement Video

...
Posted by The Dez ™ on Mon, 17 Dec 2007 02:57:00 PST

Jive Talkin about Saturday Night Fever

Saturday Night Fever, the album/movie combo that infused the Disco craze and made John Travolta, well, John Travolta, just turned 30 years old. The Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack, for which the Bee G...
Posted by The Dez ™ on Sun, 16 Dec 2007 03:03:00 PST

And Thats Why I Never Grab The Top Copy, Diablo

On my last visit to Uptown's Walker Public Library, I learned a valuable lesson. I think it has a lot to do with going with your gut and sticking with the way you do things. Deviating sometimes can be...
Posted by The Dez ™ on Fri, 14 Dec 2007 12:17:00 PST

New Years Resolution: Overused Words and Phrases

It has come to my attention that I tend to overuse certain phrases, words, slang terms. So I'm preparing myself for New Years, 2008 by compiling a list of taboo talk. If anyone has any other suggestio...
Posted by The Dez ™ on Wed, 21 Nov 2007 03:04:00 PST

Lets Talk about Facebook

Let's talk about FacebookI'm not a fan of this social hub. Let me count the ways. For starters, "Facebook" sounds like the alternate selection from the Ed Gein Book Club. And that's gross. Zombie hugs...
Posted by The Dez ™ on Tue, 20 Nov 2007 03:54:00 PST