Faster, Panda Cat, Kill, Kill™ profile picture

Faster, Panda Cat, Kill, Kill™

i'm not fat, it's just my protective coating

About Me


*Harry Potter theme begins*
Once upon a time many moons ago, a Panda Cat was born (this is good to know because it was me. Yay!). The natives who gathered to see the birthing of such a superb creature were stunned by her albino-glowing skin and said, "This ain't no Mexican baby! Her mami must have done it with the mailman and not the gardener."
And thus, my journey into life began. The villagers were frightened of my oddly dark eyes and yet virgin-snow skin. They fed me tortillas and frijoles and chili verde in hopes that I would tan and develop a fear of the chupacabra and help one of them get a green card. They soon lost interest in the young Panda Cat who was often found playing in the mud dressed as Punky Brewster and carrying around a battered looking Care Bear.
I grew up a little did a few weird things, created my own Cult of Panda, was nearly beheaded by my treacherous followers (those bitch monkeys!), yada yada yada the usual prepubescent routine.
Today I'm a writer and semi dork. Ok, a full-time dork. Thanks for calling me on that, asshat. I take care of my parents as well as attempt to further my education so that next time I create my own band of sheep they don't try to assassinate me. My life is writing. I can be a serious person but truth is my heart is very fragile and I love to make people laugh and smile and brighten their world. I took life too seriously and sacrificed the better part of my youth trying to be an adult which landed me in so much pain. It taught me to be strong and love life and the people in it, to not pass so much judgement on others; to appreciate what I do have and not dwell on things lost or people who have hurt me or who I've hurt.
I've been through some hardships, and have learned to not just appreciate everything my loved ones are, but also aren't. That was a Panda Cat pearl of wisdom there, I hope you enjoyed it, or at least masturbated a little to it. I'm also a pervert.
Part of me is eternally child-like. Anyone will tell you that to make me giggle just hand me a toy from the 50 cent machines (remember when they were 25?) and I will be entertained for hours. Sometimes I work constructively with a new story or poem. Other times the ADD kicks in and somehow I set Jello on fire. Ah yes, that was a fun day. Still, the Jello had it coming.

My Interests



creating / writing / the scary things that go bump in the night / narcoleptic goats / observing people / love/ lust / kissing / sex--no not with you ;) / the human emotion / ninjas / learning what makes someone tick / pushing people to their extremes / rainbow brite / sailor moon / punky brewster / care bears / everything and anything 80s / bad horror movies / the paranormal / thunderstorms / candles / good wine / lightning / vanilla / honey / invader zim / wolves / books / pandas / foxes / cats / chihuahuas / ninja monkeys / band shirts / fire pretty / dogs howling / queer propaganda / unique clothing styles / glitter / blue eye shadow / makeup / taking pictures / evolving is always good / coloring books / taking long walks / tattoos / the moon / stars, the ones in the sky not the ones with huge bank accounts / penguins playing hockey / 50s pinup girls / polka dots / marilyn monroe / bettie page...

and my friend Jaqueline made me this because she ♥'s me

and my loverly jennjenn made this with jacqueline in the middle just the way we like it *giggle* ;)

adopt your own virtual pet!

adopt your own virtual pet!

adopt your own virtual pet!

Myspace Contact Tables

I'd like to meet:

I’m here to meet interesting people who are like me and nothing like me. I enjoy other writers and poets but its not a requirement. I prefer people who are secure in themselves no matter how strange and freakish they are. I don’t care about your race or religion or who sleeps in your bed. So long as its human, were all good. I’m only here to meet friends, I don’t want to be anyone’s girlfriend or even potential. I’m happy where I am in my life. If you’re secure in yourself, Id like to get to know you. The only thing I ask is to write to me in proper English. I can handle an occasional OMG but if I see a "dat" or "sup" you're not going to get very far. I add people who want to talk and who can bring me a certain something in my world that I will enjoy and hopefully that I can do that same for. I like to be inspired and find various muses to keep my mind sharp and life interesting. I don't listen to pity. I don't have sympathy for anyone. Empathy is a whole other story, but you have to earn it from me. I don't want your drama and I'm not a friend whore so don't add me for a collection. Also have a nifty Panda Man so I'm taken and if you write me to hook up or say something about me going down your hot salami I swear I will fucking send you gay midget porn so don't fuck with me. Please and thank you and have a peachy ass day :D

Are you a sexy punk rocker looking for even sexier corsets? Then come and look at clothes for girls who like to live on the wild side. All clothing is handmade by the incredibly talented Cassandra. Add the page and spread the word!

My talented friend Darcy Gunslinger has just opened her own spot at Etsy so click the banner to check out some of her fabulous new Knick Knack Designs!

Also my ever so lovely Jacki has joined Avon! She's created a MySpace page that you can contact her with and we would love for you to add her! *hint hint* And don't forget to take a look at the products Avon now has to offer!

Go here for her myspace:

~~Avon in Paris Illinois~~

and click either of the banners to check out the products!

Music:

everything really...ok except maybe hebrew disco...i'm a huge 80's fan and i'm just now learning the finer points of metal and rock...yes, my friends are determined to make me cool and wipe vanilla ice from my memory...



If you go out in the woods today You're sure of a big surprise. If you go out in the woods today You'd better go in disguise.

For every bear that ever there was Will gather there for certain, because Today's the day the panda cats have their picnic.

Chorus: Picnic time for panda cats, The little panda cats are having a lovely time today. Watch them, catch them unawares, And see them picnic on their holiday. See them gaily dance about. They love to play and shout. And never have any cares.At six o'clock their mommies and daddies Will take them home to bed Because they're tired little panda cats.

If you go out in the woods today, You'd better not go alone. It's lovely out in the woods today, But safer to stay at home.

For every bear that ever there was Will gather there for certain, because Today's the day the panda cats have their picnic

::CHORUS::

Every panda cat, that's been good Is sure of a treat today There's lots of wonderful things to eat And wonderful games to play

Beneath the trees, where nobody sees They'll hide and seek as long as they please Today's the day the panda cats have their picnic

Yes, I took this picture because yes, I am this big of a dork :)

Movies:

This is where Im like Homer Simpson. I can't remember a plot to save my life and find myself playing with bits of lint or string for fun. I always find myself adding characters that aren't in the movie and create different story lines because mine are always better. I do like to watch them; I just cant guarantee Ill be able to tell you what its about. I love to be scared and because I find American humor predictable and boring I prefer British comedies. Give me movies from the 50s where the bats were held together with string and tape, and you will see a happy woman or even better, a classic B-movie or 70's or 80's flick. And yes, I am that person renting all those made for TV SCI-FI movies about mutated fish and the Chupacabra and of course, Andy Sidaris B-Movies.

Television:

Same here as for movies. Every now and then though I can watch almost a whole 20 minutes of TV without getting distracted by something shiny. Okay, not always true but I'm into Robot Chicken, Moral Oral, Aqua Teen Hunger, basically aything after 11pm on Cartoon Network. I am in love with Invader Zim and I want to be Gir when I grow up. I love How I met Your Mother,The Simpsons, Family Guy, Smallville and any anime, but dont expect me to be able to tell you which because I can never remember. In other words, pretty much whatever can keep me from playing with a ball of string.

I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4

Books:

Anything by: Franecsca Lia Block, Laurell K. Hamilton, J.K Rowling, Charlaine Harris, Katincat, Dean Koontz, Christopher Rice, Christopher Pike, Joel Schwan, Lindsay Hughes, Janet Evanovich, Kay Hooper, Tara K. Harper, Cate Tierney, L. J. Smith, and myself :) and there are so many others but I forget their names at this moment...

Heroes:

My heroes are my friends. Not the ones who stand behind you anticipating your fall, but those who stand right next to you, willing to help steady yourself when you waver. They love you no matter what you do or don't do and accept your strange quirks, and even share a few. They understand you without having to use words. My Panda Man, who gives me the strength to believe in myself...who helped me learn how to breathe again...
..
.. Your Name's DETAILS
Status: i'm completely taken and smitten by my rockstar panda man ♥
Here for: my ninjas who rock my socks
Orientation: tease
Hometown: Care-A-Lot
Body Type: plush ;)
Ethnicity: i'm a a beaner/german/euro-trash kind of girl
Religion: i believe in the power of panda cat
Sign: wicked-kinky-Scorpio
Smoke / Drink: i like my lungs thanks but the occasional brain cell does have to die
Children: my vagina is not your clown car but i love when people i like have them <3
Occupation: writer and mental institute escapee

My Blog

the evil cookies are back...

seriously, what the hell is going on?...the evil cookies continue to haunt me!my parents get the nice yummies about love and affection and i get a crisis looming over me?! what ancient cookie monster ...
Posted by Faster, Panda Cat, Kill, Kill™ on Sun, 15 Jun 2008 04:32:00 PST

Tanda’s turn for a Vlog :D

Yesterday Tanda had minor surgery on her front paw...They dug around and didn't find a foxtail at all, but they did find that her paw was so badly infected by the mites that it was filled with pus and...
Posted by Faster, Panda Cat, Kill, Kill™ on Sat, 07 Jun 2008 10:40:00 PST

tanda's wtf :D

wtf is that face for?!i love the furry booger :D
Posted by Faster, Panda Cat, Kill, Kill™ on Mon, 02 Jun 2008 05:48:00 PST

Gashlycrumb Tinies

The lovely M.J. mentioned lullabies last night and it got me started on my favorite one, Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey...it's not actually a lullaby but a dark poem...My mum used to read it to me...
Posted by Faster, Panda Cat, Kill, Kill™ on Thu, 15 May 2008 04:03:00 PST

dots dots dots :D

i know...i'm lame...but seriously recognition of anything i do is still soooo new to me :Dclick it! (my image is number 2)On the Dot Creations...
Posted by Faster, Panda Cat, Kill, Kill™ on Sun, 04 May 2008 01:06:00 PST

not all cookies are sweet and nice...

Some just blow :Dand yes...that's my fortune cookie paper...
Posted by Faster, Panda Cat, Kill, Kill™ on Sun, 04 May 2008 08:02:00 PST

i should really be asleep...

so shan (my beautiful sexy other wifey) tagged me...because she's a cheeky monkey...so here are the rules:write 10 random thingies about yourself and then tag ten poor bastards...so here are 10 random...
Posted by Faster, Panda Cat, Kill, Kill™ on Fri, 02 May 2008 04:26:00 PST

when i grow up...

i'm going to marry jacqueline :Dyeah...she rocks my face and i lurrrve her emy card :Dand if you want to see the large sizes and closeups (and to see how awesome they look!) go here:http://www.flickr....
Posted by Faster, Panda Cat, Kill, Kill™ on Fri, 02 May 2008 09:41:00 PST

i wanted to do a pretty flashy image with it....

but i had no time and Mary tagged me and for once it's a little different :)Here are the rules:(1. Write your own six word memoir(2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you'd lik...
Posted by Faster, Panda Cat, Kill, Kill™ on Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:40:00 PST

fuckmeat

panda cat: what else does a girl need besides some flaming fuckmeat?panda man: a matching purse.panda man says he still likes girls...?
Posted by Faster, Panda Cat, Kill, Kill™ on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:16:00 PST