The Pope

Dearest People of the World, I am your Pope. Everyday I work for you. You are my people, and I love every one of you. But sometimes (even though I am infallible) things will get tough, and mistakes may be made. I try my hardest not to do harm to you, people of the mortal realm. But when things get hectic at the Vatican I can't help but think of all that I haven't yet done for you. There is so much you need! And I, even though I am acting as Christ on earth until He crashes this party, only have so much to give! There is one thing that gets me through the toughest of times, however. When things get rough in the Vatican, and it's too much for me to handle, I retire to my bedchamber and speak of my troubles to my private, wisened counselors, Ed in the Refridgerators. In my most desperate hours of need they are there to guide me. Some say, "When God closes a door he opens a window." It's a nice comforting thought, but unfortunately quite erroneous. I prefer the addage "When God closes a door, he makes it soundproof and blasts you with His Almighty Rock of Ed in the Refridgerators!" Forever Yours, The Pope