Darren Clark

When I was twelve I was looking for a way to get women to notice me (heightwise I was just below the sightlines of the average woman). With the most clandestine of intentions I started to play the guitar. Secretly of course I hoped that this would gain me the attentions of womankind. A woeful thirteen years later, a woman asked me out on a date after seeing one of my gigs. How cool is that?

Not really very cool.

But it's better than a kick in the bollocks.

Some might say I am doing myself a disservice by describing my music as "better than a kick in the bollocks" but I'm just being discreet. It's a matter of opinion as to what is good and what is not, but I think I can quite accurately say that an evening spent listening to some of my songs is better than an evening spent having your balls kicked.