Fuckslap profile picture

Fuckslap

I'm only here because I got lost looking for porn

About Me

I dont do a fucking thing all day except sit on my ass and eat shit so blow me. I am an asshole who loves to drink beer and when I'm not drinking beer I drink whisky. On my spare time I drink wine and fuck myself while watching startrek before crying myself to sleep. I enjoy anything that has to do with beer and everything goes better with beer so I like to do everything drunk. Kiss my ass.

My Interests

coors light
bud light
pbr
miller high life
mickeys
old e
jack daneils
jim beam
corona
guinness
paulaner
heineken
amstel light
harp
bass
michelob
rolling rock
labatts blue
killian irish red
new castle
red hook
samuel adams
smithwicks
boobs
fat tire
easy street wheat
boddingtons
red stripe
jameson
glenlivet
glenfiddich
honey brown

I'd like to meet:

Any pretty girls with a nice rack and an ass that smells like french vanilla ice cream, who would like nothing more than to serve me food while I sit on my ass and watch TV. They would also have to pay my rent and blow me. In return I will ............. sorry I cant think of anything.

Music:

I'm down with anyone who sings about drugs, booze & bitches

Movies:

Anything with alot of action and no plot..............pretty much Kung Fu & Porn ..

Television:

FUCKIN ' A

Books:

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. But I particularly enjoy this book.

Heroes:

Fuckin Chuck Norris

My Blog

Giving Head (a guide for bitches)

First, you need to be enthusiastic. If you hate giving head or don't want to do it you're not going to be good at it. If you're afraid that your bad at performing fellatio don't worry, it'll come even...
Posted by Fuckslap on Mon, 12 Jun 2006 08:01:00 PST

Puppy Love

Puppy Love: An essential guide to doggy styling your bitchNew form of birth control will save the planet, say expertsDog boning is not only a splendid alternative to fucking fat chicks but a great way...
Posted by Fuckslap on Thu, 04 May 2006 08:51:00 PST

Queef?

So youre fucking your girlfriend, getting into a good solid groove, and while youre banging away, theres this sound. Sort of like a fart. But it came from her pussy. Should you be grossed out? Should ...
Posted by Fuckslap on Fri, 03 Feb 2006 11:35:00 PST

When I rule the world

Show me a man or a woman alone and I'll show you a saint. Give me two and they'll fall in love. Give me three and they'll invent the charming thing we call 'society'. Give me four and they'll build a ...
Posted by Fuckslap on Wed, 16 Nov 2005 10:04:00 PST

Ladies, this is for you.

I'm so sick of you ladies bitching about the degenerate male performance of pissing. You constantly ask "why do you miss the fuckin bowl?'' Well listen up, ladies you tinkle from point blank range, st...
Posted by Fuckslap on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Drink beer it makes you smarter, I'll prove it.

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted it is the slowest & weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the h...
Posted by Fuckslap on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST