Hi, I'm Hoff. I'm amazing, or at least that's what everyone I have ever met always tells me.
Seriously, It got so bad, I now have a mobile purely for compliments - it's 07777777771 - yes I know that amazing number, but did you expect any less?
I work in a Nightclub, well actually it's The Nightclub - it's Called Mercy and its nearly as amazing as me. Work there consists of Djing in Room 2 (The Cheese Room) - the most sexyiest of party rooms in the whole wide world ever, and Entertaining both inside and out. That's when I breathe fire like a dragon, or make sparks like an idiot, or stilt walk like a.. Uh.. Stilt walker.. I do much more but you don't deserve to hear about it yet.
This work is with my 2 brothers. We're in fact triplets but they share the same birthday and I was born 5 months later by a different mother, naturally I was an astounding scientific discovery but I try to stay modest about it.
My Brothers and I form the Cheesehunters - www.CheeseHunters.com with our forth sister, a bloke named Jezza - He is truly awesome and comes a close second to me in the world rankings, just above Wayne Rooney and the Cheeky Girls.
I own a plasma TV named Moses, a Honda Civic named Melanie and 2 pet rats who have no name but I call them Dude and Lil' Geez. We all share a bed together when it gets cold, but in the summer we cool down in my Sauna whilst drinking Tea with chocolate ice cubes.
During the day I work at Marsh - I think that stands for Most Amazingly Rare Sh*t Hole, but im not sure. This is where I try to normalise myself by working with idiots who bore me. Or maybe they don't? Maybe Marsh stands for Most Awesomely Raunchy Sex Haven .. It doesn't, but I have since killed the person who told me that at my interview.
I'm also a web and graphics designer, you see I'm blessed with 34 hour days so I can do 3 jobs whilst maintaining an incredibly active sex life with supermodels. I've designed a number of sites for people who said - "Hoff, Make me more awesome" and I obliged:
www.ultimateagency.co.uk
www.pro-solv.co.uk
www.vigourpt.com
www.cheesehunters.com
www.escapemargate.com
www.basslineentertainments.com
So if you want to make mad passionate love to someone better than Batman, Superman and Johnny Vegas combined, then go ahead and comment or message me, I will reply, that is, unless I'm out saving the world...
You Are a Margarita
You aren't just the life of the party, you are the party!
You mix a good drink, bust out some great music, and know how to get down.
You Are 80% Sexy
Your Sex Appeal Is: Extremely High
You're very sexy. You just have that certain something that takes over a room.
You know how to attract, entice, and keep whoever you want. You are truly appealing.
Your Life Is Worth...
$1,130,000
