I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I write award-winning operas, I write books in braile, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I know Morse code.I cook 11-minute rice in five minutes. I am a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. While on holiday in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. I don..t perspire. Ever. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me; animals like me.I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. At weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a garlic press and a sandwich toaster. Robert De Niro is a close family friend. I have won bullfights in San Juan and cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. Recently.
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