Sean Sparks licks eyeballs in the wilderness

About Me

My name is Sean. I am a writer, aspiring to be a super villain, with my fist fucking the face of the world, and I'll thank you for not putting your glass on my antique end table...

Yes. You. Get a fucking coaster.

Don't look at me like that. You're the one that wanted the water, now you have to drink it fast or get yourself a God Damned coaster.

Is this becoming a problem? Is it? Because if it is, I will throw your ass back out on the information highway so fast, soooo fast, you're e-head will spin off your cyber shoulders.

And then where would you be?

E-headless with no cybershoulders. How would you manage to Yahoo-woo your next conference date in that sad shape?

That's right, you wouldn't. So get a fucking coaster.Get Your Own Voice Player Manage

My Interests

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE PEOPLE.

I swear to fuck I'm going to make a meat pie out of half the God damned metroplex and feed it to a badly animated Hentai tentacle monster while it rapes an entire community college of 17 year old girls in mini-skirts...

I'd like to meet:

The person who made my bed. It's amazing, I fucking love this thing.

Music:

Whatever you don't like.

Oh, and all those bands that you listen to that you use as some sort of foothold in the classless auditory elitist forums and social circles?

I listened to them first.

Weep, you curly-haired, meshback hat wearing fucks.

Movies:

Anything by David Cronenburg; I collect anime like a madman; I also enjoy Disney (Laugh, I dare you); Surreal or Sci Fi; Action cheese... it goes on. Bruce Willis is hardcore, but Jude Law is scary. Christopher Walken would eat both of their lunches and shit in their milk.

Television:

Television is a term used to describe the device in my living room that I watch my DVD's on.

Books:

I'll start by saying I collect, and write, comics. There's a world of intelligent and amazing storytelling that lies undiscovered by the masses in comic books.

Writers I read include:

Douglas Adams
Charles Rosenthall
Peter Lamborne Wilson
Peter Carol
Hakim Bey
Lon Milo Duquette
Terry Pratchett
Allan Moore
Grant Morrison
Warren Ellis
J.R.R. Tolkein
R. Buckminister Fuller

Yes, my cousin is Nicholas Sparks. No, I don't want to talk about him.

Heroes:

Douglas Adams, R. Buckminister Fuller, Noble Drew Ali, and Mustafa Lay La Bey...

My Blog

I Cried Tonight

I found a new kind of love tonight in my hands, crying and scrabbling at my grip, eyes blurry and squinted. With a wet rag we massaged this tiny little creature's asshole, and as it's brown relief eme...
Posted by Sean Sparks licks eyeballs in the wilderness on Sat, 18 Aug 2007 12:45:00 PST

Brain fart

In a small stadium inside of a middle-sized town in nowhere Nebraska, several thousand people were babbling incoherently, throwing their arms about, and frothing at the mouth on the playing field. The...
Posted by Sean Sparks licks eyeballs in the wilderness on Thu, 28 Jun 2007 08:49:00 PST

6 AM cut up

You have to remember, all say reclamation leads to a game. I am sorry one thing is true of all the universe, standing circumstances best a priest's needs.-Sean
Posted by Sean Sparks licks eyeballs in the wilderness on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 04:23:00 PST

Some craziness last night

Last night Mer and I were driving back from 80's night, and turn down the side street next to the R Bar to go home. She was driving because I'd had a few drinks, and stopped for a large group of black...
Posted by Sean Sparks licks eyeballs in the wilderness on Fri, 15 Jun 2007 02:58:00 PST

28 Countries Later

This franchise really needs to stop before it gets started. The end of 28 Weeks Later hinted at a spread beyond the confines of a quarantined island, and into the zombie's wet dream of continental Eur...
Posted by Sean Sparks licks eyeballs in the wilderness on Wed, 16 May 2007 10:33:00 PST

Another Stripper Dream

I'm outside of a seedy afterhours strip club, where the dancers go after they get off of work to drink and do nude dancing. A girl who looks like to two girls I work with, Monica and Addison, comes up...
Posted by Sean Sparks licks eyeballs in the wilderness on Sat, 05 May 2007 10:26:00 PST

Stripper Dream

I'm on an island (fancy that) and all the girls I work with are there, in different archetypal roles. They are all part of a village, and it has a very communal feel, like each girl's job is part of t...
Posted by Sean Sparks licks eyeballs in the wilderness on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 08:51:00 PST

Fuck Myspace Blog

I just worked on a blog entry for over an hour up at work, and pushed cancel instead of post. It deletes it immediately. Fucking myspace has to ask you if you're sure you want to delete a friend, bu...
Posted by Sean Sparks licks eyeballs in the wilderness on Sat, 14 Apr 2007 09:08:00 PST

Superhero dream 4.12.2007

I had this dream after waking up and taking a test at 10, then returning home and falling asleep at almost noon. I woke up again at 1:30, ending the dream.I am a superhero of some kind, flying through...
Posted by Sean Sparks licks eyeballs in the wilderness on Thu, 12 Apr 2007 12:30:00 PST

What a Weekend

Man, I've had some partyriffic fantastic weekends before, but nothing like this. I'll work backwards, since last night is the most recent in my memory. Last night was the sendoff party for Andrew Klei...
Posted by Sean Sparks licks eyeballs in the wilderness on Wed, 04 Apr 2007 01:12:00 PST