I'm a professional writer, amateur stand-up comedian, wannabe rugby player, and part-time hobo. I enjoy dead baby jokes and intellectually stimulating circle jerks. I like to punch inanimate objects (homeless people count) and climb trees.
Basically, I'm a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in an obnoxious, drunken shitbag with gay hair. If my grandma were alive, she'd be proud. But she's not, she's up in heaven watching me masturbate.
Stand Up Comedy, Backgammon, Horseback Riding, Spelunking, Street Math, Gourmet Cooking, Pharmacology, Chicks with C-Section Scars and Judaism.
I'd like to meet:
Thom Jones, Charlie Sheen, the Dell Guy, D'Brickashaw Ferguson, Hitler
I don't know about you, but your mother moaning is music to MY ears. Okay, seriously though - a partial list: Nerf Herder, Misfits, Toy Dolls, Rancid, The Vandals, NOFX, Beach Boys, The Clash, The Sex Pistols, Propaghandi, NWA, Toots & the Maytals, Green Day, Nina Hagen (Ninja Hagen??), Less Than Jake, Flogging Molly, Smokey Robinson, The Black Crowes, Tom Petty, Steve Miller, the Stones, Social Distortion, Bad Religion, Stray Cats, The Cars, Johnny Cash, Gene Vincent, Eddie Cochrane, Buddy Holly, Fountains of Wayne (guilty pleasure), Neutral Milk Hotel, Oingo Boingo, Devo, XTC, Operation Ivy, The Presidents of the USA (most underrated band ever), The Raconteurs, They Might Be Giants, The Ramones, Stiff Little Fingers, Queen, Minor Threat, Anal Cunt, Early Weezer, AC/DC, "Possum Kingdom", Pato Banton, Rockabilly Elvis, Jet...
Master of Unemployment - Click on thumbnail to watch movie
Mein Trout
Destiny Bay - Click on thumbnail to watch movie
Just turn it on and plant me on the couch and I'm happy. It's easier to list shows I won't watch than ones I will. Shows I won't watch: American Idol, Wrestling, Laguna Beach, Real World/Road Rules Challenge, Jerry Springer, Home Improvement, King of the Hill
Cosmic Bandidos, The Rum Diaries, American Psycho, In Search of Captain Zero, Slaughterhouse 5, The Basketball Diaries, Johnny Got His Gun, A People's History of the United States, East of Eden, Fight Club, Life of Pi, Naked, Me Talk Pretty One Day, The Good Earth, 1984, Brave New World, Any Hunter Thompson, Most Nick Hornby and T.C. Boyle, Kurt Vonnegut...
Hunter S. Thompson
Marc Antony (the HBO version)