Brian profile picture

Brian

what you know bout that...sike, nah just playin sike nah

About Me

His name is Brian Kelly, he's big and he's bad...if you come across him, he'll fuck your dad! Where's your dad ya'll, where's your dad! Where's your dad ya'll, where's your dad, your dad!INAPPROPRIATE!

My Interests

Giving hugs and pats on the back after sex. Besides that, I look out for number one, "condoms break baby, deal with it" - Max Weinburg.

I'd like to meet:

someone who will box a kangaroo for my personal enjoyment

Music:

Stereolab, Komeda, Chavez, Ivy, Sean Lennon, Astraud Gilberto, Cibo Matto, Smokey and Miho, Pavement, Portishead, Eels, Pizzacato 5, Jeff Buckley, Supergrass, High Llamas, Starlight Mints, Cinnamon, J-POP, Belly, That Dog, Guided By Voices, Helmet, Al Green, The Roots, Ben Folds Five, Ween, Sneaker Pimps, Tribe, Veruca Salt, Lionel Ritchie, Dusty Trails, The Beatles, Talib Kweli/Reflection Eternal, Journey, Joe Bean Esposito...you truly are the best around, Aimee Mann/Jon Brion, Loverboy, Duran Duran, The Spice Girls, Everything But the Girl, and last but not least...The Can/Am Connection, Starkey, Rainy River, Aunt Jessica, Allison Polans, Foosa, The Same Page, Smiley and Trawler...oh yeah, and the complete "and 1" mix tapes.

Movies:

Ping Pong, About a Boy, Josee the Tiger and the Fish, Rushmore, Punch Drunk Love, After Life, Jingle All the Way, Neon Genesis Evangelion, His and Her Circumstances/Kare Kano, High and Low, Wet Hot American Summer, Dr. Strangelove, Anchorman, I 3 Huckabees, Battle Angel Alita, Tampopo, Love Actually, Fight Club, Groundhog Day, The Professional, Singin' in the Rain, Boogie Nights, Ed Wood, Bottle Rocket, 9 Souls, Hanging Garden, Big Lebowski, Raging Bull, Goodfellas, Pootie Tang, Mourningwood High (RIP...?), and in honor of my old roommate who taught me how to love anything with a titular line; "and that's when we knew, he was ______."

Television:

When will they ever bring back Parker Lewis Can't Lose... Mr. Show, The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Arrested Development, Newsradio, Home Movies, Sports Night, Degrassi Junior High (Real. Life. Now. It Goes There) Monty Python, UCB, Strangers with Candy, The State, Kids in the Hall, Daily Show, Colbert, MST3K, Dr. Katz, ATHF, Mission Hill, Andy Richter Controls the Universe, Boston Public (only the Nicky Katt years and why is it on the WE network now), The Prisoner, SCTV, South Park, Simpsons, G4TV b/c I stink at video games (unless it's ms. pac man or galaga), The Food Network, and I watch Sportscenter about 7 out of the 12 times it's on during the day...yeah, I think that about covers it.

Books:

David Sedaris, Al Franken, Hiroaki Samura, John Hodgman, Sherman Alexie, and The Onion...hahaha, just kidding, I watch far too much TV to even have time for Sudoku, let alone reading.

Heroes:

Brian Dawkins and Allen Shemper. Oh, also Todd Barry for a lovely evening...way to go Todd, you can really knock one out of the park when you want to...and Hideaki Anno and Ian Roberts for being a nice guy despite a certain someone who brought a pedophile joke to the table.

My Blog

SECRET PANTS WINS DIRTIEST SKETCH IN PHILADELPHIA 2007!

..> We did it!Many thanks/congratulations to Die Actor Die!, Don Montrey, The Sixth Borough, Animosity Pierre, Rowan and Hastings, Bad Hair, Johnny & Chip, The Waitstaff and the Khyber for p...
Posted by Brian on Tue, 19 Jun 2007 02:09:00 PST

Steppin' Out : The 2005 Philadelphia Film Festival

A few months ago, Secret Pants retooled their website and we decided not to/forgot to (circle one) include written pieces or articles.   Well, I've decided to give some of mine a home on this blo...
Posted by Brian on Tue, 27 Feb 2007 02:57:00 PST

"Judd Nelson"

SECRET PANTS RETURNS TO PHILADELPHIA STAGES TO SPREAD HOLIDAY LAUGHS, THE CLAPYou all know and love Judd Nelson from his work in TV's Suddenly Susan, right? No? Well, how about the record exec in...
Posted by Brian on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 08:08:00 PST

CONGRATULATIONS (are in order...)

Oh yes...Yes...Just when you think you've seen everything, someone goes and does something even better. Picture this if you will...The woman working at the Chinese Buffet in the food court my sto...
Posted by Brian on Fri, 10 Nov 2006 02:24:00 PST

How to vote for Secret Pants as 2006's Best Philadelphia Comedian

Secret Pants, the sketch comedy group that I am a part of, has the opportunity for some really great press.  I'll take a note from Paul and say that normally, we don't ask for much from our frien...
Posted by Brian on Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:04:00 PST

HOW TO KEEP SECRET PANTS ON TV!!!!

Last night, Secret Pants made their national television debut on the (extremely wonderful/kind/reverent/beautiful/awesome/loving/caring) FUSE Network with their sketch, "Car On E".  Now I k...
Posted by Brian on Wed, 03 May 2006 08:43:00 PST

www.secretpants.net

Listen... I don't think any of you have been keeping up your end of the bargin... Have you been? Have you laughed? Have you truly lived? www.secretpants.net Brian
Posted by Brian on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST