John, aka The Kelpmaster - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hey!First, let me say this: I know that I look like Dr. House, M.D., aka, Hugh Laurie. Second, let me say this: Carpe Cheeseburger! Damn, I'm always hungry!Now, down to less important business...I was born in Boulder back in the day (1970). Boy, a lot has changed here since then! Oh man, what's happened to this town?I really like skiing, snowboarding, climbing, hiking, scuba diving, weight-training, yoga, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (7 years) and all sorts of outdoor adventure! I also study Advaita Vedanta, and read a wide variety of books (usually non-fiction). I have a very philosophical bent.I love to travel and see the world!Favorite foods: BBQ, Indian, Thai, Japanese, Chinese, Mexican, Italian, American, European in general, and energy bars! I pretty much live on a variety of energy bars and milk.More on MILK: I love milk. I drink about 1/2 gallon a day, and no, I don't think I'm going to stop. I love it. It's got carbs, fat, and protein.Digression: Have you ever noticed how huge cows and horses and other herbivores are, but how skinny human vegetarians are? Go figure!Check out my blog at: http://volition11.blogspot.com/And by the way: I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEND ME A LINK TO YOUR PORN-CAM and try to entice me into giving you my credit card number! I'm far from stupid, and I can tell when your profile is fake. STOP SENDING ME PORN LINKS, YOU PIGFUCKERS!
Myspace Editor

Your Inner European is French!
Smart and sophisticated.
You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so. Who's Your Inner European?
Your Hypochondria Rating: Very High
Your rating leaves little doubt that you are a hypochondriac. You are driven to great levels of anxiety over your health concerns. Fearing for your well-being borders on obsession for you. Your next step should be to seek a professional diagnosis and treatment for this condition. A much happier life is waiting for you.
The Hypochondria Test Hypochondria Symptoms and Treatment
You May Be a Bit Obsessive Compulsive...
Meticulous and detailed oriented, you have some irrational obsessions.
Maybe it's your super neat closet or washing your hands a gazillion times.
You probably know it's weird, but you just can't stop thinking about it.
In fact, the more you think about your quirks, the more you have to do them. What Personality Disorder Are You?

My Interests

Unconventional thought. Exploration. Real conversation. Travel. Martial arts. Scuba diving. Fitness. My education. Your education. Our education. Human evolution in every sense.

I'd like to meet:

UNCONVENTIONAL THINKERS.

Myspace Editor

Music:

I have XM Satellite Radio, and it's spoiled the crap out of me. I listen to it in my car constantly. I like a WIDE range of music. Here's a partial list of bands and genres: Punk, classic rock, blues, rockabilly, 50s rock, 60s rock, 70s rock, good 80s rock, good 90s rock, good current rock, good jazz, good world music, electronica, japanese rap, and much more...it would take forever to list the bands I like...but OK, here it is in random order. You asked for it (or did you?)The Stooges, L7, King Missile, Atom And His Package, Bad Brains, MC5, Bill Laswell...and...Bad Religion, The Rolling Stones, DJ Krush, AC/DC, Dead Kennedys, Pro-Pain, Misfits, Danzig, Bauhaus, Me First And The Gimme Gimmes, Public Enemy, Devo, David Bowie, Crime and the City Solution, Love and Rockets, Butthole Surfers, Beastie Boys, Agnostic Front, Cake, CCR, Chris Isaak, Muddy Waters, John Lee Hooker, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis, Brian Eno, Hendrix, House of Pain, James Brown, Incubus, The Guess Who, The Kinks, Steppenwolf, Sisters of Mercy, Ministry, Bob Dylan, Simon and Garfunkel, Kruder and Dorfmeister, Pink Floyd, Prodigy, Queen, Rammstein, Ramones, Buzzcocks, Henry Rollins, Roy Orbison, Santana, Sir Mix-a-Lot, Clutch, Strife, The Cars, The Cult, The Doors, White Zombie, The Who, Blondie, Dropkick Murphys, Frank Black, Gotan Project, Greenday, GWAR, Zeke, The Hollies, Los Straitjackets, Los Infernos, Mekons, Pennywise, The Exploited, The Dwarves, The Cramps, The Nomads, The Clash, The Phantom Limbs, The White Stripes, the Bomboras, Zen Guerilla, Billy Idol, Black Sabbath, The Hives, Nirvana, Japanese punk, and more...

Movies:

I usually prefer indie movies and foreign movies to blockbusters. I love documentaries. I like movies that are inspiring and don't leave me walking out of the theater feeling crappy!

Television:

I don't watch TV. I'd rather spend my time with people than a two-dimensional box beaming patterns of light at me. Every millisecond of every day, when you are in any state other than deep sleep, you're being conditioned. Why add a bunch of TV conditioning to your psyche?

Books:

I'm usually in the process of reading about 50 books, so I rarely finish one. I have so many interests that I find a lot of things worth reading about.

My Blog

ON THE OTHER HAND, I COULD BE _WRONG_!!!

Ha ha ha!!! I was wrong! Yes, it doesn't happen too often that I'm wrong about politics, but I was WRONG about my political predictions for November 7th, and I'm incredibly happy to admit ...
Posted by John, aka The Kelpmaster on Thu, 09 Nov 2006 11:08:00 PST

POLITICAL PREDICTIONS

Here are my political predictions for the coming few months... 1. Even though the Democrats are kicking ass in all polls, individually, and in terms of issues, vs. Repuglicans, and the indications are...
Posted by John, aka The Kelpmaster on Thu, 12 Oct 2006 08:29:00 PST

POWER TO THE PEOPLE, NOT THE POLITICIANS

This is OUR country, not theirs. Sure, politicians are citizens, too, sadly, but in their role as politicians, they are usurping power from us. I had a LONG dream this morning that the...
Posted by John, aka The Kelpmaster on Sat, 16 Sep 2006 08:55:00 PST

ABSURDITY

Life is truly absurd. Sure, going about your daily life doesn't seem absurd, but existence itself is absurd. Who are we, really? Are you just a person? Are you so...
Posted by John, aka The Kelpmaster on Thu, 14 Sep 2006 09:06:00 PST

WOULD YOU SCAMMY BITCHES STOP SENDING ME YOUR WEBCAM PORN CRAP?

Look, I know that you use a "robot" program to send out enticements to guys to become your bogus "friends" and visit your porno webcam sites, so I know you'll never read this, but for the record, LEAV...
Posted by John, aka The Kelpmaster on Mon, 11 Sep 2006 10:38:00 PST

9/11 Was An Inside Job

Yep, it's true. How do I know this? Why do so many other people think this? Why do 66% of New Yorkers think this, according to a Zogby poll? Why is this idea so popular outside...
Posted by John, aka The Kelpmaster on Sun, 10 Sep 2006 08:28:00 PST

CROP SOICLES

Can't we just agree that cropcircles are made by people? Fuck. It's been caught on nightvision video...two dudes dragging boards behind them on ropes. Duh. It's PEOPLE, not ali...
Posted by John, aka The Kelpmaster on Wed, 06 Sep 2006 11:10:00 PST

FUCK "SURVIVOR"

Can you believe this shit? "Survivor" is actually dividing up teams on their upcoming show based on race! Can't we get beyond this concept in 2006? What a bunch of pigfucking, maggot-licki...
Posted by John, aka The Kelpmaster on Wed, 06 Sep 2006 10:57:00 PST

URINAL/SHOWER-ROOM RULES FOR MEN

It's become obvious to me that some of you motherfuckers out there don't know the rules that guide urinal/showerhead selection. Ok, maybe some of you are just violating these rules on purpose.&n...
Posted by John, aka The Kelpmaster on Wed, 06 Sep 2006 10:41:00 PST

I Have Solved The U.S. Healthcare Crisis

Millions of Americans have no health insurance. This travesty is unbefitting of a first-world, post-industrial nation in 2006. Here is the solution: Since the U.S. government is spending 8 billi...
Posted by John, aka The Kelpmaster on Mon, 04 Sep 2006 09:20:00 PST