topher - ProfilesArchive

About Me

When I was younger, I walked home from school to an empty and vacant space. In this world, I learned by testing - often leading to disappointment or pain. But it was an efficient method, as I grew up faster than a child should.For that I've always been strong. When the world has slammed its doors in my face, I always found some way to break in. Stir shit up. My past has endowed upon me a resilience and fortitude of the heart. The reassurance is in my knowledge of the fact that every time it rips apart, I have and can always mend it.So I take much pride in that. In the fact that I have parents who have done nothing, and that I have accomplished this much. In everything that I stand for because this world was and is tough to tackle with just my self. I'm a little speck in turbulent waters, being blown side to side, by the currents of things far greater than I. But still I take pride in it. I've done everything for myself. Its a far greater skill than any which I possess. Im a survivor. Fuck the world.As this year, which marks the fifth anniversary of my glorious return to this island, rolls on continuously into submission to time and nature - I must wonder what new developments can i include that will give an all-encompassing view of what it is to be me. I suppose I am the same as I was yesterday or even a couple years ago, just a little wiser, less volatile with a more balanced head on my shoulders. I have come to enjoy simpler things in life: good times with friends, hanging out, being home, taking care of the cats, and of course havent given up on my habitual herbal intake.Much of my life has now become a fight, a struggle, or so what we as Americans call it. Sleep work eat sleep work has become a dull prison of a routine that dicates my actions, and interminably my thoughts. Ive found that yes, being an adult is fortifying for your own personal perceptions of yourself, however - a very lonely tract for a human... often times leaving you alone, bored at 3 AM while the world sleeps and nothing stirs.But I revel in it, revel in the fact that I, after all these years, am still surviving.

My Interests

I suppose its ridiculous to try and attempt to write down everything but I can give it a stab: i like galleries, art, and music. Movies - tho they are often disappointing. Herb, cigarettes, and coffee - yay college. KENKA. Roof parties, house parties, wake and bake, keggers, anything along those lines. It would be safer to say I'm a bit of a hedonist... my motto - work hard play hard.

I'd like to meet:

Someone who wants to cook me dinner and roll my blunts. Haha yeah.

Music:

Recently found myself stuck in this housy/funky meets neo-soul/triphop/hiphop kinda music rotation. I cant even attempt to name a giant list of my 35 gig music collection like everyone else does, but some heavy hits on my itunes: leela james, jill scott, erykah badu, jamie lidell, herbaliser, alice russell, quantic soul orchestra, mark farina, immortal technique, roy hargrove, etc. etc Throw in a little neo-Brazilian bossa nova such as rosalia de souza, bebel gilberto + a little chillout with the Thievery Corporation, Erylend Oye, zero7 and the likes with just a little pinch of indie rock = pretty much sums up my taste in music.

Movies:

requiem, rules of attraction, the big lebowski, half baked, battle royale, happiness, lone wolf and cub, triplets of belleville... this could go on a while.

Television:

aqua teen, family guy, futurama, naruto, iron chef. Its all I need cartoons and a 1 hour crazy japanese cooking battle.

Books:

Fiction: Rules of Attraction, anything Bret Easton Ellis. Beowulf, Paradise Lost, some Shakespeare. Non fiction: I'm pretty into structuralism right now so anything along the lines of Foucault, Saussure, etc. I can dip a little before and a little after as well. Derrida, Eliot you know the dill. Poetry: Elliot of course. Neruda. Ginsberg. Donne - The Flea.

Heroes:

Heroes only exist for those who know hope. but the Dutch Master is pretty cool. Har har.

My Blog

the definition of uncool

When I was younger, I thought I was so cool and so progressive for believing in what I did, and acting upon that knowledge. In retrospect, I still agree I was one cool cat who could find a fine balan...
Posted by topher on Wed, 10 May 2006 09:30:00 PST

raw

Can we feel experience without the words that bind us to what we know as experience? My guess is probably not.The rawest emotions that plague me today are beyond words, inconceivable to articulate ver...
Posted by topher on Thu, 04 May 2006 02:51:00 PST

emostorm

What is it about life that keeps this poignant grace even amidst the chaotic rampage our bodies create? It isn't life, this surreal yet validated experience, that thrusts us into the eye of the hurric...
Posted by topher on Thu, 27 Apr 2006 01:06:00 PST

circles

Spring is upon us and like a death to the depression it will usher in a time of rejuvenation and renewal and people's demeanors will blossom and thrive once more. People will flood the streets, and em...
Posted by topher on Sun, 23 Apr 2006 04:06:00 PST

animals

After years of depravityhe finally tossed it away without a caregiving it to anyone who came along for the rideAfter months of decayhe finally stopped worrying aboutimportant things like sanctity and ...
Posted by topher on Fri, 21 Apr 2006 02:48:00 PST

He grew up in two places: one for his feet, the other for his soul

the ground beneath him felt lazysaturated with opulence and over-consumerism,a constant concrete cueof his American existance.yet, with his feet planted his mind told him otherwise,told him to never f...
Posted by topher on Mon, 20 Mar 2006 06:21:00 PST

race.

the first taste intoxicatesand drugs my senses.the second bite inundatesand floods my essence.infiltrates and penetratesthrough my tough skin,through solid inhibitionsand even hard knowledgeof fact an...
Posted by topher on Fri, 03 Mar 2006 01:09:00 PST

romanized

when you want it, its never there.what you want, never quite clear.and it always seemsto collide at oncethe whens and whatscompeting for your adoration,nuh yeh sarang.nah yeh sarang un hanasaram dul-u...
Posted by topher on Wed, 01 Mar 2006 04:51:00 PST

fate

Planted in his chair, stagnant.he waited for something to catchhis senses.the touch of satin on his fingers,the taste of salt on his lips,with a lingering scent of skinor the sight of someone beautifu...
Posted by topher on Thu, 23 Feb 2006 12:56:00 PST

spirit

house music in four countbeads of hard work, hot air, and humanityaccumulate on smooth skins -wet from breath, from tongue,from head and handsentangled like an animalistic jungleready to burst at any ...
Posted by topher on Tue, 21 Feb 2006 04:24:00 PST