dylan profile picture

dylan

I BRAKE FOR MONSTER BOOTY

About Me

i used to sleep in a hammock every night. i amass cats at an abnormal rate. i have never been able to hold a steady job, nor do i have any prospects of doing so, i am who i am.i have very long toes, i have a bad habit of calling people assholes, i also have a bad habit of accusing people of cannibalism.age:32,occupation:minister of leisure(freelance laziness consultant)

My Interests

fishing!!!!!!!!the great outdoors,the equally great indoors,beer,all kinds of women,helping animals,porn,lots and lots of porn,4x4s, bikes, backpacking,the exotic art of the martial bullwhip, drinking beer with my friends and family, kayaking,paintball,go-karts,backpacking, jewelry making,my cat,firearms,backpacking, making music, good food ,museums,tattoos,practical jokes, bowie knives,shoes,avoiding responsibility, climbing trees, avoiding responsibility by climbing trees,backpacking, the list grows daily, i have too many interests to get anything done.

I'd like to meet:

please folks, if i am not friends with your band or business,dont request me as a friend!paintball buddies,dirty little punk chicks for me and my girl, backpacking/kayaking buddies(men or women) women who are not crazy,men who are,hillbillies,punks, weirdos,drag queens,fellatious women,queers,streetfighters,tg girls, people who like to send and receive strange, late night, drunken emails,HULKAMANIACS!(you know who you are) folks who actually take their 4x4s offroad, people who like to say the word "hiney", anyone one who knows what a pll-lp-fm-txer is,anyone one who can identify the musician i am sitting next to in my pics,people who like animals,people who act like animals, people who consider the whoopie cushion the apex of human thought and accomplishment, anyone who would never "hit me up" "holla at me" or address me with any other juvenile,ghettoesque colloquialism. any one with a great sense of humor and you, since you bothered reading all this weird shit. -----and hey, sign this!

Music:

tom waits,brujeria,old slayer, monstrosity,chopin,leon redbone, the pogues.if it aint on the radio, then i probably have it.

Movies:

man bites dog, roadside prophets,apacolypse now,immortal beloved,blah blah

Television:

family guy,mail call,any of the real forensics shows

Books:

a confederacy of dunces,cold mountain, don quixote de la mancha,perfume, any mark twain

Heroes:

LOWELL-BECAUSE HE ALWAYS SAW WHO I WAS AND LIKED IT. ETH-BECAUSE HE ALWAYS HAS A JOKE WITH ME. AL-BECAUSE I HAVE A FISHING BUDDY FOR LIFE!LAST BUT NOT LEAST, DR. ASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!1

My Blog

MR. Chicken goes to heaven

we have all had an animal companion pass away. it is only then that we remember that we form a bond with our beasts that cannot be replicated with humans. a way of interacting with one another that is...
Posted by dylan on Thu, 20 Sep 2007 09:38:00 PST

SOME THOUGHTS ON THE DEATH PENALTY

recently, the european union has urged texas to halt the execution of a man convicted of murdering a store clerk during a robbery. the EU claims that the death penalty is "inhumane" and "is not an eff...
Posted by dylan on Tue, 21 Aug 2007 03:23:00 PST

SO LONG,FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we are leaving los angeles.that is the mothership. lest ye get jealous,it doesnt look as nice inside. but, its still better than your R.V. we are heading to D.C.  where ann owns a house . we are ...
Posted by dylan on Fri, 23 Feb 2007 02:37:00 PST

stuff i like....

 in case there is anyone who bothers to read the self indulgent crap i write.my other posts have been shit lists or stuff about cats. how drull, you must be saying. so, here are a few things that...
Posted by dylan on Sat, 20 Jan 2007 12:57:00 PST

uncle jerry

our adopted senior cat "uncle jerry" has passed away.  he was 20 years old. he was a charming,patient and beautiful cat. we adopted him from an animal hospital where he had been left by his owner...
Posted by dylan on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 02:05:00 PST

no title

after pulling off my bike cover this morning on my way to go take care of the big cats, i found paw prints on my seat. some little stray cat with dirty feet has been crawling under the cover to sleep ...
Posted by dylan on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 03:23:00 PST

here,kitty,kitty.

 these pictures i have taken of some of the cats i help look after where i volunteer. i change their water,clean the cages,etc...the white tiger is montana, the first cougar is sydney(he doesnt l...
Posted by dylan on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 11:56:00 PST

banana republican

if i have it my way,by the time antiquity gets the better of me, i will have spent many of my years shoeless, fishing tropical waters and sleeping off rum induced hangovers in a hammock swinging from ...
Posted by dylan on Fri, 06 Oct 2006 01:44:00 PST

MY OWN MILLION MILE SHIT-LIST....

influenced by my brother "sanded faceless". THINGS I WOULD LIKE SENTENCED TO ETERNAL DAMNATION,PT.1- WICKER FURNITURE. PEOPLE WHO SAY "HIT ME UP" OR "HOLLA". M.T.V REALITY TELEVISION. PATCHOUL...
Posted by dylan on Mon, 31 Oct 2005 01:19:00 PST

the island of deez brazil nuts,b.

so, it seems my friday nights of sitting alone in my room, chain smoking , guzzling cheap blackberry brandy and whackin´off to fat girl porn are over.(i cant seem to find blackberry brandy in brazil.)...
Posted by dylan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST