of all the states of emotion i’ve ever been in, music takes me to the strongest state of emotion the quickest.

· · · — — — · · ·

i have been told that i need to love myself on more than one occasion: do i love myself? well, i have been writing songs about myself(and other people “i love”) since i was 14 years old. i’ve also spent over 300 hours drawing pictures of myself, most of the drawings are necessary in depicting the human condition, that of my own unique experiences. but to spend 5 hours drawing myself blow-drying my hair or the pivotal moment in which i stand before the mirror with a beard that took me a month to grow and contemplate shaving? this one’s good, i actually drew myself drawing:).
i am quite worldy as it may seem, considering my indifference for airplanes. i have been to europe a couple times and spent a while in prague where i developed my drawing style and wrote a lot of songs.
originally from south jersey(represent!), i’ve been dragging myself around new york city...naked it seems for the last 5 years, creating a rather intimate relationship. 3 of those 5 years with a brain tumor, what I’ve come to know today as 2 brain tumors. since, i've had 2 brain surgeries, one on march 16th 2006 and another on dec. 13th 2006…i obviously survived both. this has been an exhausting and enlightening experience, my heart swells for life and all of it’s participants.
having said that...most of the time i can't tell if i'm going to yawn or cry. my music is of pain and distress, uncertainty and love lost…basically things that need to be fixed. if something’s good and happy, why you got to write about it? leave it alone.
your blues, my blues...we are all in this together.
thank you to everyone who has been nice to me(you know who you are).
accustomably i am not one to make a
spectacle of a momentous day in my life
(e.g. never had a birthday party after i was
12, no going away/coming home bash’s,
so on and so forth. however, one year ago
today i spent the better part of 13hrs.
cranially embraced, dividing me from “my
extra self”( a large brain tumor that coiled
around my carotid artery with the likes of
a bolivian mountain road) :)
may it have been…a tear, a hug, a look, a
song, a prayer, an obligation, a magic
trick from an unsuspecting magician ;), a
golden retriever, velvet revolver’s inspiring
look and eclectic collaboration :), an upper
west side family’s "tough love", my own
family’s real un-conditional love or…i
know, i know what it was…it was probably
the holy water my grandmother purchased
from the TV and squirted at me as i was
escorted to surgery...works every time:).
a rough patch would be an
understatement, it has been a rough field.
i want to…thank you (falettinme be mice
elf agin)
michael disalvo III
3-16-07
"there aint no use in callin' out my name gal
like you never done before
and there aint no use in callin' out my name gal
i can't hear you anymore
i'm thinkin' and a wonderin', walkin' down the road
once loved a woman a child i'm told
gave her my heart, but she wanted my soul
don't think twice it's alright"
1-9-07
12-8-06
9-5-06
i have found that i have
a second brain tumor post brain
surgery 3-16-06. i do not know what will come of this
or how to go about feeling like everything will be ok,
but i do know that the
sun will shine
and i will rise. if i am not smiling or laughing or talking
or if i seem to be drifting off while in a conversation
...i am just being me,
happy within the boundaries of my misery
enjoy the autumn, it's my favorite season.
my first review
by

TRIPWIRE

{click below}

'artist to watch'

un-wanted

i am a storm cloud i am a lemon on a sunny day at best i am the haze the heati am a mistaken gem a rock an underestimated being an existence undeniable un-wantedi am late too early skinny too much far too close unawarethis riddle riddled weak fear anxious tumor crateri hold tightly fall short of passion i dream sturdy levels of my reality mistaken destinywake nor sleep dusk nor dawn i am in between dying and being born
michael disalvo III
8-9-06
{below, renata's tattoo.} 7*14*06
courtesy of: desmond mooney $ bayside ink tattoo's $ beachwood, NJ simple twist of fate
i just got this image today 04/26/06(right hand side), my brain without a freakin' brain tumor. some people who stumble upon this might find it gross or disturbing and it's quite possible that i would have identified with you three years ago. brains, neuro bullshit, tumors, anti-seizure medication, hospitals, big ol' scars, double vision and stupid eye patches are all part of my daily life, it's like what iced tea is for you.
since my surgery i've had double vision,
this photo is exactly what i see. (i'll drive!)
my new look for summer.
i will never go to that barber again. 4-14-06
this was the view from my hospital room
over looking central park, i miss that room,
it was way nicer than our apartment.
I know I am lucky…I just have to
prove it repeatedly:)
something in my veins, bloodier than blood
the freewheelin' michael disalvo III
won't you look down upon me jesus, you've got to help me make a stand, you've just got to see me through another day...my body's aching and my time is at hand...and i won't make it any other way
up in the morning, look in the mirror.....i'm worn as her tooth brush hanging in the stand.....my face ain't looking any younger..........now i can see, love's taken her.....toll on me
so may the sun-rise bring hope where it once was forgotten
alright, thank you.
to contact me outside of myspace:
[email protected]