jul is macgyver profile picture

jul is macgyver

why you should get to know me? I have a mind as dirty as a subway platform

About Me


My son
i like to think i'm a chill person, but sometimes that's not so. i love intelligent people with a sense of humor (the more twisted, the better). i encourage anyone i've hurt in the past to tell me so! most of the time you'll get an apology, unless of course i feel justified in my actions/words. i believe everyone needs another perspective, and i fully encourage communication.

My Interests

movies, video games, liquor, a good time, sick humor

I'd like to meet:

my sisters...and

Music:

the cure, the dresden dolls, lovage, black eyed peas, theivery corporation, sublime, tenacious d, rasputina, the beatles, portishead, tool, paul van dyk, jimmy buffet, massive attack, orbital, soundgarden, bob marley, a large portion of 80s synth pop, and of course soundtracks to many of the movies I've listed.

Movies:

the list goes on forever, but here are a few: clue, kill bill 1+2, the grindhouse, harold and kumar go to white castle, the blues brothers, amelie, anything by kevin smith, anything by tim burton (except planet of the apes), the rocky horror picture show, donnie darko, to catch a thief, the harry potter series, the lord of the ring series, the matrix series, high fidelity, snatch, lock stock and two smoking barrels, godfather 1+2, the wedding singer, 50 first dates, the big lebowski, office space, the usual suspects, l.a. confidential, dial m for murder, pulp fiction, grosse pointe blank, hero, gone with the wind, o brother where art thou, hamlet (keneth branagh version), midnight in the garden of good and evil, leon the professional (the european version, not the u.s. version), heathers, caddyshack, the crow, shaun of the dead, and I'm sure I've forgotten about 700 others.

Television:

carnivale, heroes, futurama, family guy, the simpsons, wundershowzen, about half the junk on adult swim

Books:

anything with a story that lets me escape reality

Heroes:

beatrix kiddo, cherry darling, my mother, my godmother

My Blog

re: cute, not cute/good news everyone! (said in your best farnsworth voice)

good news.  our russian lady yana is out today.  already they're talking about how she's probably giving directions to her husband in very loud russian. heh.  at least i'm not the only ...
Posted by become bastardized on Fri, 04 May 2007 05:54:00 PST

dear staff:

in order to increase productivity (and reduce restroom downtime), we've increased the air conditioner in the restroom to maximum cooling capacity. -management   dear management: my dilema is this...
Posted by become bastardized on Thu, 03 May 2007 02:29:00 PST

w-earthless

Earth-like Planet Discovered Scientists have discovered an Earth-like planet orbiting a red dwarf star 20 light-years away. What do you think? .onion_embed {background: rgb(256, 256, 256) !important...
Posted by become bastardized on Thu, 03 May 2007 07:26:00 PST

today's horoscope

from the onion: Your Birthday Today Try and resist the feeling that your birthday is but a special commemoration of your progress toward the grave. It's not that special. .. --> ...
Posted by become bastardized on Wed, 02 May 2007 10:05:00 PST

cute, not cute

thin pretty girl with a russian accent in a bar: cute large very loud woman with a russian accent in a quiet office: extremely not cute on average, how many times per day would you guess i want to sta...
Posted by become bastardized on Wed, 02 May 2007 06:53:00 PST

i'm pretty pissed off...

i missed the first 20 minutes of heroesoh well, i guess i'll just have to watch it again 
Posted by become bastardized on Tue, 01 May 2007 06:33:00 PST

i wanna organize a road trip

to rutts hut in clifton new jerseywe all need rippershttp://maps.google.com/maps?f=l&hl=en&q=rutt% 27s+hut&near=clifton+nj&layer=&ie=UTF8&z=12& amp;ll=40.845242,-74.100723&sp...
Posted by become bastardized on Sun, 29 Apr 2007 12:46:00 PST

phone companies: bureaucratic rapists

anyone that knows me well knows that one of my many jobs once included selling cell phones in best buy.  about once a year or so, i use the experience gleaned from that experience to help out a f...
Posted by become bastardized on Thu, 26 Apr 2007 10:40:00 PST

do me a favor and pick up my left eye before someone steps on it..

i hate contracts.  i do. with a passion. it's not so much the fact that they exist, it's the bullshit legal jargon contained within that pisses me off.  today i have to pour over contracts,...
Posted by become bastardized on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 12:23:00 PST

this is great

...
Posted by become bastardized on Sun, 22 Apr 2007 09:48:00 PST