Jesse Fernandez profile picture

Jesse Fernandez

A lot of people’s stand-up acts are just huge exercises in denial. And once in a while they’ll l

About Me

I am a guy whose name is Jesse. I am wearing pants and a t-shirt. I am working on some cool stuff.
Disorder Rating
Paranoid : Low
Schizoid : Low
Schizotypal : Low
Antisocial : Low
Borderline : Low
Histrionic : Moderate
Narcissistic : Low
Avoidant : Low
Dependent : Low
Obsessive-Compulsive : Low

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

My Interests

being with friends, girls, stand-up comedy, videogames, wrestling, soccer

I'd like to meet:

You and Benjamin Franklin, but mostly you.(AOL sn: thelettergreen)

Music:

Flight of the Conchords, Jonathan Coulton, Obadiah Parker, Ben Folds and Imogen Heap, plus others.

Movies:

I like the good ones and hate so much the bad ones. If you like Aliens, then you are wrong. She was like "There are tons of aliens that kill everybody!" They were like "Wrong, idiot. Wait, no you are right. Now we're gonna send like 7 people there because we think such a small number is a good idea." She was like "Those aliens will kill you so bad. I'm scared and dream I'm going to die." "You wanna come with us?" "Yes." More bad movie happens. You should feel angry for watching and then it ends. The End.

Television:

I don't really watch TV, but I appreciate: Family Guy, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Trigger Happy TV, Late Night with Conan O'Brian, Colbert Report, South Park

Books:

Some of my favorite books are: Harry Potter (The earlier ones), Calvin and Hobbes, America (The Book), The Far Side

Heroes:

Martin Luther King and Batman

My Blog

Southwest Airlines credit card scammer

I never bought the ticket that this email from Southwest Airlines said I was charged for:Dear Gentlemen,Thank you for using our new service "Buy flight ticket Online" on our website.Your account has b...
Posted by Jesse Fernandez on Fri, 05 Sep 2008 10:31:00 PST

"Jesses Challenge" Counter-Argument

I thought it would be fun to see if I could write a rebuttal to my own argument, so I did. Here it is:Jesse, what a jerk.This won't sound at first like an argument for the existence of ghosts, but it ...
Posted by Jesse Fernandez on Fri, 22 Aug 2008 03:10:00 PST

Jesses Challenge

I read that 60 percent of college-educated people believe in ghosts  Like the kind that haunt houses and creepy ping-pong tables or whatever. That is how I know that "college-educated" means not much...
Posted by Jesse Fernandez on Fri, 22 Aug 2008 01:48:00 PST

online conversation with an angry kid.

Here's an actual conversation I had with some stranger while playing an online game. I should have known he wouldn't be the most mature person when I found out he named himself "mybuttbuddy." ...Yeah....
Posted by Jesse Fernandez on Wed, 16 Jul 2008 06:39:00 PST

Ignoring the Octopus in the Room (podcast)

My buddy Dylan and I made our first podcast. Its called, "Ignoring the Octopus in the Room," and you will find that, indeed, we mention the octopus very few times:http://daedalusmachine.com/Daedalus_M...
Posted by Jesse Fernandez on Sat, 28 Jun 2008 03:43:00 PST

Moved Out! 9

Pat asked me to take him to the airport tomorrow. I said yes and then asked if he could toss some money my way for gas (because I have no job.) He said it was rude of me to ask. I guess he's right bec...
Posted by Jesse Fernandez on Sat, 28 Jun 2008 08:00:00 PST

moved Out! 8

Since I moved in with Pat I've noticed that he seems to have gas pretty much all the time. I usually never get gas, but since I moved in I've been getting gas a lot. I think it's like when women hang ...
Posted by Jesse Fernandez on Thu, 26 Jun 2008 01:14:00 PST

Moved Out! 7

I was out running errands today, and I happened to touch my face and notice that I'd forgotten to shave half of my upper lip. There was only a five o'clock shadow there to begin with, but it's still e...
Posted by Jesse Fernandez on Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:15:00 PST

Moved Out! 6

I went to buy a virus protection program for my Mac, but the tech guy said I didn't need one. He said that viruses don't affect Macs - they just lay dormant on them. He said I could possibly transfer ...
Posted by Jesse Fernandez on Tue, 24 Jun 2008 01:45:00 PST

Moved Out! 5

On June 2 I opened a bank account at Bank of America. I just intended to cash some checks, but they convinced me that I should also do a bunch of stuff that they wanted me to. Pat says that B of A has...
Posted by Jesse Fernandez on Mon, 23 Jun 2008 01:33:00 PST