I'm Ryan, Or Mr. Clark If You're Nasty

About Me

My name is Ryan Clark and I am one of the nicest assholes you will ever meet. I am delightfully crass and politely obscene. I can make fun of you in front of your face and make you feel good about it. When I'm not sucking my ego's dick all over the internet I'm in a band called Homesick Abortions...I play bass and sing for that shit. When I don't do band stuff I also do improv and comedy. For being as lazy as I am I accomplish a lot. Something I want to do before I die is ride in the sidecar of a motorcycle. I don't know how to put a background on my profile, but if I did it would be a picture of old people robbing a bank...and they would have tommy guns...and hearing aids......thats AIDS of the ears.

My Interests

I collect state quarters...fuck you.

I'd like to meet:

Anyone and everyone, and noone and nobody and no one, and anybody and anyevery, and anyno and everynone...and Batman. Oh! And also anyone who loves these videos.Smart Guyity Society III
..

Music:

Never heard of it.

Movies:

Army Of Darkness, Wet Hot American Summer, Shaun of the Dead, Reefer Madness: The Musical, Swingers, Kids In The Hall: Brain Candy, American History X, Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of The Dead, Day of The Dead, Super Troopers, Nightmare Before Christmas, Gremlins 2, Little Miss Sunshine, The Frighteners, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Fargo, Big Lebowsky, Fight Club, Sin City, Run Ronnie Run, The Hunt For Zambooza, Happy Go Monkey

Television:

Mr. Show, The State, Kids In The Hall, The Shield, Arrested Development, Lost Heroes,Dexter, Freaks and Geeks, The Office (Both BBC and NBC), Extras, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Dead Like Me, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Metalacolypse, Venture Brothers, Invader Zim, Stella, The Sarah Silverman Project

Books:

I don't know how to read or write. I know what you are thinking "How is he able to type these sentences?" in which I reply "I honestly do not know how to read or write, I am just randomly hitting buttons on this keyboard and they just so happen to make perfect sense." I don't even know what is being said right now.

Heroes:

Any two children who can sneak into a rated R movie by one getting on the others shoulders and wearing a long trenchcoat jacket.

My Blog

I Guess I Should Help Them Win Over The Gaza Strip Now

I read this e-mail in the Homesick Abortions myspace messages.* hey how are you guy?? i havent seen you in foeva!! you wouldnt believe........ so im in israel now and hung out with the punks d...
Posted by I'm Ryan, Or Mr. Clark If You're Nasty on Sat, 11 Aug 2007 04:23:00 PST

See Ya In A Week Fuckers!!!

My ass is going down south to get back in touch with my redneck roots. It should be really fun though because it's going to be this big family reunion and there is going to be a shitload of fami...
Posted by I'm Ryan, Or Mr. Clark If You're Nasty on Tue, 26 Jun 2007 11:01:00 PST

What Are You Doing This Weekend Assbitch?

Because if you don't know what you are doing yet Greg and I are having a party in celebration of Gregs birthday!!! (and yes we are well aware of the fact his birthday was March 22nd. If you have a pro...
Posted by I'm Ryan, Or Mr. Clark If You're Nasty on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 07:41:00 PST

It's A Sad Day In Sports History

Just kidding. Fuck sports. Fuck those fucks where their fucks fuck. What I'm upset about is TV. For the past few weeks it has been really good to me. But sadly all good things ...
Posted by I'm Ryan, Or Mr. Clark If You're Nasty on Tue, 22 May 2007 02:35:00 PST

Sorry If I Flake On Any Plans. I'm Dead.

..> Ryan Clark was known as Stack here on the rolling campus of Virginia Tech, an amiable senior memorable for his ready smile and thoughtful ways. He was also among the first victims of the deadli...
Posted by I'm Ryan, Or Mr. Clark If You're Nasty on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 12:23:00 PST

I Can'T Wait To See

THE ASTRONAUT FARMER!!!! When I first heard about this movie I had my doubts. I mean, come on! This doesn't sound like it is going to be funny at all. How could someone take a movie ...
Posted by I'm Ryan, Or Mr. Clark If You're Nasty on Sat, 17 Feb 2007 03:06:00 PST

Lets Get Together And Celebrate Me!!!

Hey there anyone. One thing that kind of sucks about having your birthday on new years day is that everyone is so hung over from the night before that it is way to hard to get people together to...
Posted by I'm Ryan, Or Mr. Clark If You're Nasty on Mon, 08 Jan 2007 10:51:00 PST

THANK YOU SATAN!!!

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth by Anton Szandor LaVey ©1967 1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked. 2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear...
Posted by I'm Ryan, Or Mr. Clark If You're Nasty on Sat, 09 Dec 2006 04:40:00 PST

Greg Wrote It, I Took It

I'd like to thank this cat for existing. If all the happiness in my life somehow took the form of a cat, it'd be this massive bastard. That cat is huge, son. No foolin. It's like two dogs in a cat ...
Posted by I'm Ryan, Or Mr. Clark If You're Nasty on Sat, 02 Dec 2006 03:18:00 PST

Annabelle

Hi, I'm Ryan. I just recently adopted a kitty named Annabelle. She is grey with white feet and will follow me to my car when I leave for work (or pretty much anywhere). This is the s...
Posted by I'm Ryan, Or Mr. Clark If You're Nasty on Thu, 09 Nov 2006 09:59:00 PST