SCISSORS DEFEAT ROCK
Spokane, WA - Scissors defeated rock Tuesday, marking the cutting instrument's first-ever victory over it's longtime rival. Scissors, which had lost to rock an estimated 23 million consecutive times before the win, was widely expected to lose the match. "The rock was tryng to smash the scissors, but this time, it just couldn't," witness Melissa Cunningham said. "The scissors got up and cut right through the rock." Rock has now lost two straight matches, including last Friday's defeat at the the hands of paper,
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