Yoda's Love Child profile picture

Yoda's Love Child

bigearedgreenchild

About Me

I'm Yoda's love child and I live in the cheapest maisonette in the universe - built purely out of Tesco Value Weetabix and held together by spit. I have my own hat and coat and in my spare time I enjoy throwing kittens and stroking bouncy balls. I hate Myspace, it's so "Me,me,me!" (that and the misuse of apostrophes) but if I must... MY AMBITION: To gain the finances to fill my jumbo fridge.(Oi! Behave!) WHAT I DO: I'm an actress. I trained at the HTV Drama Workshop in Cardiff (getting odd TV jobs) and then the Christine Holmes Academy of Performing Arts (She's the lady who wrote "Devil Woman" for Cliff Richard!); then the Jedi Knight School for abandoned, green, wrinkly alien babies (I think I saw Cliff there, too). I've since been in random films that don't amount to much and I work at Theatre Train, as main crusher of young dreams, under the guise of drama teacher, where I also direct and sometimes write their plays. I started learning to play the guitar at the beginning of last year and I can, now, play the James Bond theme. Rock on! Unfortunately(being the nut-magnet, that I am) my guitar teacher turned out to be a bit of a psycho, stalker-freak and my lessons have, thus, discontinued, so anyone who knows of a clinically saine guitar teacher in the local area, please get in touch. Oh, and not that I want to blow my own trumpet (behave!) but I've co-written a sit-com which has been taken on by a TV production co to produce and pitch to TV channels. My fridge could be filled very soon! MY FAULTS: I write too much; I think about my fridge too much. ..

My Interests

Acting, writing, directing, drawing &; art &; stuff; Creating &; drawing Manga characters, making sculptures out of mutilated Barbie dolls, taking black &; white photos of scruffy landscapes, coming up with mad photo shoots to do with Chris O.B; funky/weird/quirky/retro clothes, especially from the sixties; military stuff and ruffles, catsuits; cyber boots and shoes; making and customising clothes (A lot of which I sell on ebay once I've cast them "a-strew" so keep an eye out), creative hairstyles, creative fashion, artistic tattoos but not random ones, Anime &; Manga, Martial Arts, Fruits magazine (if only I could read the Japanese!), anything Japanese (except Sushi 'cause that's mean!); Colour co-ordination; anything funky-kitsch but not tacky-kitsch, watching fish swim around in tanks, lime green, smiley faces, aliens, dragons, funky wigs, history, old, derelict and ruined buildings, the mackerel philosophy; Blythe dolls and other scary toys; most things Kawaii Noir. FAVE SHOPS: Pop Boutique (Manchester/Liverpool), Lullie Vintage (eBay), Lee Louise (Chester), charity shops, brimming with retro goodness! FAVE FOOD: My vegetarian spaghetti Bolognese, Tattoojesus's vegetarian suasage chilli.

I'd like to meet:

1)My Dad - Yoda. My son took me to a Star Wars convention once and the best they could spew was the Green Cross Code man!... Oh, and R2D2 isn't real! Shattered illusions!! 2)Someone reliable (which is far less likely). 3)Friends who I haven't seen in years. I do believe Ive become the Myspace founder of Flass Reunited! 4) Pocoyo, so I can challenge him to a dance-off!I DON'T WANT TO MEET: 1) PEOPLE WHO JUST WANT TO ADD PICTURES OF SLUTTY-LOOKING WOMEN TO THEIR FRIENDS LIST. 2) POSERS IN MUSCLY TORSO SHOTS(ESPECIALLY THE HEADLESS ONES). NO OFFENSE BUT YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR INNARDS ARE ON THE OUTSIDE! 3) WEIRD FETISH/BONDAGE PEOPLE. EACH TO THEIR OWN AND ALL THAT BUT PLEASE STOP SENDING ME FRIEND REQUESTS. IT'S REALLY NOT MY CUP OF TEA!
I had 161 myspace friends, before Tom the cyber-git deleted me (on account of, my left nostril was considered too offensive and in poor taste - that's my best guess, anyway). If you were one of them, please feel free to add me again.

Music:

De La Soul (I worship!)- fave group since I was 10; Avalanches;The Beards, Flight of the Conchords, Erykah Badu, Lauryn Hill, Nina Simone, James Brown, Roots Manuva; Blak Twang etc; Groove Theory (a bit gay, I know!); Blondie; 60s soul, 70s soul &; funk; jazz; bit of classic easy listening and swing, like Dean Martin.I did my musoc bit, too, back the days of yorageness, rapping and street dancing around Europe but have since lost pent-up, inner anger that inspired me to write. Guess my life's to 'priddy', now.

Movies:

The Science of Sleep, Ping Pong, Psycho, The Graduate, Bad Taste, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, My Cousin Vinny, Ghost in the Shell 1&;2, Akira, Princess Mononoke, Battle Angle Alita; all those "Crouching, flying, tiger, dagger, hero" films; anything with some artistic merit, or really pants films I can watch ironically.

Television:

The Mighty Boosh,"Munkay" (Monkey), Flight of the Conchords, Gantz, The Young Ones, Garth Marenghi's Dark Place, Brass Eye, This Morning with Richard not Judy, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Summer Heights High, The Office, The Simpsons, Futurama, Family Guy, Pocoyo, Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, My Name is Earl, Maid Marian and her Merry Men, Adam &; Joe, My Parents are Aliens, Sponge Bob Square Pants, Don't Eat the Neighbours, Daria, Trap Door, Peep Show, Spaced, Red Dwarf, Dragonball, Dragonball GT, Power Puff girls, Scrubs (minus the tacky sentimental endings), Fawlty Towers; geeky documentaries (learnt my favourite phrase from a history docu': "Seven-headed whore of Babylon."); Chad Vader (on youtube)

Books:

The works of Oscar Wilde, Dickens and Tennessee Williams... And "Coping with Teachers" by Peter Corey - It's sooo true! Scripts from comedy shows like The Goons and Red Dwarf; many, many manga comics, Fruits, Fresh Fruits and other Japanese Street Fashion books.

Heroes:

Garfield (before he went all C.G. and commercial), Carla from 'Cheers,' Dr Cox, Wednesday Addams, Daria, Stewie from 'Family Guy' and, actually, the writers of 'Family Guy', too; Chris Morris. (I'm not gonna do the super heroes gag - it's so cliched.)

My Blog

My Ingenious, Revolutionary Inventions

1)  Dustbuster Car - A giant dustbuster that you could get inside and drive.  The new, environmentally sound mode of transport which could, completely, replace the car, as we know ...
Posted by Yoda's Love Child on Wed, 04 Jun 2008 10:17:00 PST