Your Imaginary Friend profile picture

Your Imaginary Friend

Where the hell do I live?

About Me


I'm updating. Are you ready?
I don't work in an office anymore.
I'm also not running any more newspaper production departments. You missed that if you were waiting for me to update. I complained a lot. It—the job, not the complaining—looks nice on my resume.
I'm back to freelancing, which, yes, is (most of the time) a fancy word for unemployment. It is only slightly more lucrative and the benefits are comparable. I'm considering hunting down a new regular job. I'm not in a hurry about it.
John has graduated. Congratulations would be in order if he wasn't still so grumpy about having to go back in the first place. We're leaving Tallahassee for good when July ends. The reality of that is slowly beginning to sink in. Really, really slowly. Have you ever gone into utter shock at a decidedly slow rate? It's a weird feeling, like you're getting smaller.
Despite any grim analogies, I'm excited about a new life. Artist or not, I don't expect to starve this year or next or the one after that, although I probably still won't have insurance paid for me.
It's still tragic. But it sounds so unromantic.
So some days I skip lunch.
( This is my website, and the link below is to my Collective.)

My Interests

art , music, pop history, satire, and then some other stuff also.
No, lots of stuff. Like songs and ducks and roller skates and the way people look when they're listening hard. And potatoes, and how big telephones used to be, and being told jokes by someone who can barely tell me because he's laughing already. And people who tap dance. And mirrors. Just lots of things. The world is fantastic, which is an easy thing to forget when you start to spend too much of your life around the internet.
The internet is amazing and exciting and endlessly useful. It's like reading books and talking on the phone and playing games and reading art magazines all rolled up into one even better thing and I love it as much as anybody. It's just no substitute for ducks, that's all I'm saying.

Music:

I find joy in 70s rock (and sometimes roll) and comfort in 40s big band. And I listen to a little bit of a lot of other stuff, either because it inspires me and helps me feel connected to the universal subconscious, or because it's clever.
I have favorites and one day I might list them to you.
I have nothing more to say on the subject. Disappointed? Try telling me something sucks. That works sometimes.

Movies:

Amelie, Big Fish, Billy Elliot, Little Voice, Summer Stock... I like music and bright colors and sweet themes with wit. Then again, I also like Bruce Willis and, against my better judgment, Ben Stiller. I like it best when movies are funny, but I guess they don't have to be that sweet.

Television:

The Office, Arrested Development, My Name is Earl, Freaks and Geeks, Get Smart, Laverne and Shirley, Taxi, the Dick Van Dyke Show, Six Feet Under, Sports Night (surprise!), Mad About You, Friends, Seinfeld, and stand-up specials.
I would allow any of these gentlemen to sleep on my couch for as long as a month, even if their friends were dirty: Eddie Izzard, Jerry Seinfeld, George Carlin, Steve Martin, Dane Cook, Mitch Hedburg (RIP), and Bill Cosby.

Books:

Douglas Adams, David Sedaris, and (as of recently) Danny Wallace are my favorites. I like a lot of books though. I keep them on my bookshelf... with my other books.

Heroes:

See also: books, television, movies.
I mostly fill out these profile sheets with the vain hope that someone is collecting the information for a fascinating and comprehensive catalogue of all humankind, browsable by subject. In that event, I don't want to be listed under "whatever." This is, upon inspection, stupid and a little paranoid. And it is a behavior that will continue.

My Blog

Job!

You heard me. Job.I am now effectively a person again, and can occasionally go out and do things.Which is, in itself, just the tiniest bit daunting now that I think about it.Have you ever heard of The...
Posted by Your Imaginary Friend on Sat, 08 Sep 2007 08:53:00 PST

Fine, thanks  how’s YOUR new life?

So Atlanta, for those of you who are not in it, is (and I want to say this absolutely as delicately as possible) an ALL-DAY FUCKING STEAMBATH that kills puppies and destroys souls. Has it killed an ac...
Posted by Your Imaginary Friend on Sun, 12 Aug 2007 10:03:00 PST

Coach Fredericks is funny

He asked to be MySpace friends, so now we have to go find him.He is not this sweaty in person.He works very hard for the money he earns, which is more money than you earn.Thursday is not as popular a ...
Posted by Your Imaginary Friend on Fri, 04 May 2007 07:19:00 PST

The show hangs until Valentine's Day

    ...but the reception has come and gone.If you don't know to check my Flickr for the pickrs, lookit.Everyone who came to be supporty, and also Steve because it wasn't his fault he co...
Posted by Your Imaginary Friend on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 02:49:00 PST

If you are a person...

...ahem. Shall I start again?If you are a person who has Vox, so am I! http://houseonfire.vox.com. That's me. I write things there sometimes. You should put me in your Neighborhood if you have a Vox.I...
Posted by Your Imaginary Friend on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 07:30:00 PST

O Myspace Gods

O Kind and Merciful Myspace GodsThank you for the boots. I would like to report also that I have misplaced four or five letter-size sheets of colored Canson paper.Amen,Kristina...
Posted by Your Imaginary Friend on Tue, 17 Oct 2006 01:18:00 PST

I have lost one of two things.

I've definitely lost either1. my black boots, or 2. my mind.
Posted by Your Imaginary Friend on Tue, 17 Oct 2006 10:34:00 PST

So... we won?

Back at work now, after my second very short nap of the day, waiting for the editor-in-chief and photographer to send their stuff for the front pages of news and sports. It won't be worth much, this s...
Posted by Your Imaginary Friend on Tue, 05 Sep 2006 09:17:00 PST

The end of a neverending Journey

She loves to laughShe loves to singShe does everythingShe loves to moveShe loves to grooveShe loves eleven thingsI have always puzzled over what the other seven things might be. Tonight we figured out...
Posted by Your Imaginary Friend on Sun, 30 Jul 2006 11:23:00 PST

Criminally unfair! +help buy me a cap'n.

My birthday is coming up! Yaaaay!I decided to have a schmaltzy cocktail party this weekend to celebrate. Usually, I'm in West Palm with my family on my birthday, but funds are very tight so travel is ...
Posted by Your Imaginary Friend on Wed, 12 Jul 2006 01:58:00 PST