Life's too short to drink cheap booze.
music, dancing, nature, Jelly Belly jelly beans (the true way to a woman's heart), baseball games, Ren Faire, staring at people who think it's okay to be dry humping in public, bar hopping, random acts of hilarity, guitar players, criminology, karaoke!, psychology, going OUT, forensic science, thinking I can solve crimes, intelligent conversation, people watching, reading, nostalgia, mythology, Oh, and drinking water and milk. I know that's random, but they taste oh so wonderful.
PS, my dog is so much cuter than yours that I am sad for you.
img src="http://c.myspace.com/Groups/00001/95/08/1238059_l.jpg".
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I'd like to meet:
Pat Benatar (idol) and Butch Walker (favorite performer... ever. Yeah, it's that serious.) and Henry Rollins (cause... well, he's hot and intelligent and that makes me happy in my pants). Also, I really only add people I know and bands I know or respect (that means that I KNOW all the people on my friend list... whoa, I'm popular... who knew?), so don't take it personally if you do send me a message and I still don't add you. And if you really want to go off on me about how all of "us" California people are "so into ourselves that we only add people in our little cliques" then take the time to think about the fact that I'm one of 12 people that I know who aren't related to me and were actually born here, so "us" California people really consist of YOU assholes that keep MOVING here to become "famous", so don't talk shit, and go get me my fries, burger boy.
-PEOPLE I DO WANT TO MEET-
-people who will come to karaoke when I invite them.
-people who are up front with me, even if it might hurt my feelings. My feelings will mend and it's better than lying.
-people who will treat me how I deserve to be treated... if you don't, may the gods be with you because hell hath no fury like a pissed off Scottish bitch.
-People that want to make beautiful music with me (I sing)
-People who can hold an intelligent conversation and can debate without resorting to name calling.
-I want to meet interesting people with stories to tell and things to teach me.
-people who like to dance, go to random hole in the wall places, and fellow bar hoppers.
-people with confidence. Love who you are, because you are the only person like you.
-People who despise George W. Bush as much as I do, but realize that it doesn't give you the right to act like an asshole to people that disagree with you.
-gay pretty boys to go shopping and shit talking with
-people who, like me, thoroughly enjoy random acts of impish idiocy. Setting up a campsite in the mall, snowball fights in back of the skating rink (your ass is mine Sami. I will have my revenge), Hide N Seek in playgrounds at 2 am... good times.
-Stuyvesant(check), Homullus, Looseweed(check), Leif(check), Whitefire(check) and Piplicus. I also want to meet people that get that reference. Okay, not really, just them.
-PEOPLE I DO NOT WANT TO MEET-
-Vanilla Ice.
-People who bring their goddamn kids to appointments. I can't stand children and I AM NOT A BABYSITTER.
-People that drink and drive. I hope you wrap your car around a telephone pole.
-Girls that say "I'm bi!" just to impress boys. If you need to play that card, what you REALLY need is a boob job.
-Cult members. You know who you are, you creepy motherfuckers. L Ron Hubbard is NOT YOUR SAVIOUR. HE'S A MOVIE DIRECTOR.
-People who send me messages saying "you seem cool/nice." No I'm not. I'm a bitch. We probably won't be friends because I'll probably hate you. Seriously.
-People who say they hate George W. Bush but can't tell me why. Don't be a sheep. Good sentiment, poor reasoning.
-People who fall under ANY of the following categories: Racists, bigots, homophobes, drug addicts, whiners, back stabbers, slackers, liars, unreliable assholes, emo bitches or Hot Topic sheep.
-The Religious Right
-I hate flakes more than I hate The Religious Right.
-People who say "that's hot" because if Paris Hilton is the person you model yourself after, I would suggest starting a close personal friendship with the people at the local free clinic ASAP.
-People without an independent thought in their head. Think for yourself. Do your research. Don't start a debate with me unless you know your shit, or I'll bury you.
-People without a sense of humor. Don't take life so seriously, or you'll end up being one annoying ass person. (I'm talking to you, PETA, Greenpeace, feminazis, moral majority...You ruined Disneyland for me)
-PeOpLe WhO TyPe LiKe ThIs or ppl who r not able 2 type n english. ur not funny or cute so plz stop _
-People who have problems and expect me to fix them. This may come as a shock to you, but I have my own problems.
-People who sit outside and honk rather than walking up to the front door. Get off your lazy ass. You're annoying the neighborhood.
-People who don't use turn signals, especially when either cutting across the ENTIRE freeway or when they are supposed to be leading someone somewhere ERIC.
-People who can't seem to figure out that there is most definitely a limit to the cuteness of PDA. If you insist on sucking face in the middle of a public place, I will insist on making it as uncomfortable as humanly possible.
-People who can't seem to figure out that A) my name is not "baby" "mami" or "shorty" B) I don't care how much you bench C) I don't care that your car is loud and can bounce D) I don't care that you're famous E) the only kind of person your tired lines works on is a WHORE, and I am not one F) I don't want to be "friends with benefits" with someone who sends me a message through a website. G) I know what Tupac looks like, and you are not him. Get a real picture... and a dictionary... H) I know what "A/S/L" means, I just don't feel like dignifying it with a response. I) your wealth is unimportant to me. It's nice, but it's no substitute for a personality and finally J) A criminal record is not attractive.
-People with trucks that are either raised unreasonably high or lowered nearly to the floor, or contain the following car items: Halogen headlights that are always blinding me (the person that invented those is going STRAIGHT to hell), Calvin pissing on anything decals, overly patriotic stickers/flags/decals, bass so loud I can hear it from a mile away (just because you're deaf does NOT mean I want to be), those spinning rims on your tires, alarms that go off at 6 in the morning and make me crazy, or that sound some people have that is like a whistle to get attention of girls... we are not impressed.
Music:
Does anyone else think that a law should be passed to prevent Britney Spears from covering any more songs? Ever?
..red Four best bands on myspace:
-Butch Walker- what God would sound like if he had a band here
-Angel City Outcasts- the way punk should be done here
-Bif Naked AKA my future wife here
-The Dead pets- We'll just forgive them for being British. here
I knew who Matisyahu was before you did. I knew who a lot of people were before you, and it's about time you started liking them. Should've just listened to me back when I told you they were good. I like almost everything. Butch Walker, Nirvana, Pat Benatar, Angel City Outcasts, Toy Dolls, Jimi Hendrix, Vandals, Murder Dolls, Motley Crue, Queen, Bif Naked, Flogging Molly, Enya, ATB, Vivaldi, Metallica, Motorhead, Melissa Etheridge, Beethoven, Marilyn Manson, Stray Cats, Heart, Janis Joplin, The Donnas, Jefferson Airplane, Fleetwood Mac, Type O Negative, David Bowie, The Clash, Muse, ACDC, Poison, Amber, Blondie, Mozart, Dropkick Murphys, Def Leppard, Janet Jackson, Guano Apes, Dead Pets, Marvelous 3, Rancid, Indigo Girls, Circle Jerks, Ramstein, Cock Rock forever! I like to dance, so -much to the chagrin of my friends- I like good pop songs that I can't sit still to. Okay... Let's simplify this. I like everything but gangsta rap. There's only so many times I can hear about guns, hos, and blunts before I start to feel my IQ drop. I'm also not a big fan of modern country. I was raised on old school country and protest music from the 60's and 70's. (Dolly Parton is badass. Fuck you all)
Scared of Girls' new incarnation, Hypervamp. Check em out!
Movies:
I heart James Deen. But not for the reason you do... perv.
Evian is naive spelled backwards. Rocky Horror Picture Show, Bowling for Columbine (saw Fahrenheit... wasn't impressed), Legend, Secondhand Lions, the Commitments, Heat, Labyrinth, Highlander,Gia, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Kingpin, Fight Club, Spirited Away, Series 7, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Pirates of the Carribean, The Princess Bride, The Crow, too many to name. I love laughter, fantasy, Tim Curry, Kevin Smith... and Battle Royale... even though I've never seen it... it just sounds really cool. And I'm a big huge fan of truly terrible movies. That sums it up.
img src="http://www.gwjokes.com/pictures/gulf-wars-episode-2.jpg
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Television:
Simpsons, That 70's Show, That 80's Show (BRING IT BACK BASTARDS), South Park, Daria, Inuyasha, old Celebrity Deathmatch, Family Guy, Mind Of Mencia, Daily Show, Futurama, Scrubs, Comedy Central Presents, any comedy. Titus (BRING IT BACK), Yu Yu Hakusho, Paradise Hotel (the best train wreck EVER), Extreme Dodgeball, CSI, any Law & Order show. And I love comedians on Comedy Central.
RIP MITCH HEDBERG
img src="http://www.citybeat.com/2004-01-14/musicshorttakes-5.jp
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Books:
Mary Higgins Clark, the Queen of suspense and also the queen of my book shelf, Lazarus Heart by Poppy Z. Brite, anything by Lisa Scottoline. I read mythology from all regions of the world, and a lot of psychology books. I love to learn. I LOVE Uncle John's Bathroom Readers. I like poetry, mystery, suspense, and true stories. You know, like that book on Oprah's list, "A Million Little Pieces." I grew up reading Shel Silverstein poems and Richard Scarry.
Heroes:
Captain Planet , he's our hero, gonna take pollution down to zero... no wonder I'm such a friggin hippie.
Pat Benatar ... cause she's Pat fucking Benatar...Heh, I have both of the albums pictured here... on vinyl... and I don't even own a record player.
;
Butch Walker , for being the most down to earth cool guy ever, as well as the ONLY celebrity that makes me act like an idiot
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Natalie Maines for standing up to the popular opinion and not backing down. Country girl wears punk rock very nicely
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and Barbara Boxer (watch CNN, maybe you'll catch a clue), for being who she is. She's an environmentalist, a speaker of the truth, a fighter for everyone's rights to be themselves and to be free, and most of all, the woman who verbally bitch slapped Condoleezza Rice on TV. Look, here's a picture from it:
GO BARBARA!
But also, this guy:
In 1994,Los Angeles Police arrested a man for dressing up as the Grim Reaper - complete with scythe - and standing outside the windows of old peoples' homes and staring in.
Oh, and just so you know, here are my political beliefs. And yes, I am liberal California hippie scum.
But, seriously...
Because someone got the shit end of the goddamn stick.
Every day I send out love to my family, friends and neighbors overseas and I send a nice big fuck you to George W. Bush, who undoubtedly now has his own private entrance into hell.
If you want to have a nice battle of words with me over it, which some people have, I have two words for you:
bring it.
