Women |
A woman is a lot like a...a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and, um...oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, a...
Posted by Homer on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
Life Stinks! |
Your lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them incompetent boobs. I know this because I worked alongside them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotio...
Posted by Homer on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
Why do you thank the lord? |
I thank the lord for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did he see them at the picni...
Posted by Homer on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
Old people |
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
Posted by Homer on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
When will I learn? |
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! and let me tell you, it's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I manag...
Posted by Homer on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
