The Marquis de Ruin profile picture

The Marquis de Ruin

In my Summer of Hell, I swear I won't tell.

About Me


"...I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip...All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing." - American Psycho
It's true, I've got demons inside me and sometimes they need to speak. My dark places, make me feel ugly, my lips are GLOSSED but my heart is WEAK. I'm DISEASED as seen on TV, please FORGIVE ME, for not being PRETTY or SEXY, but GOD NEVER BLESSED ME, here's what you'll find next time you undress me:SCARS. WOUNDS. I'M BRUISED.Watch me bleed. I'm no beauty. BEAUTY FIEND.Once again, without perfect teeth I begin, the dream as I sleep, soon I've SINNED, my skin it's still THICK, my mouth, as always, is BRUTALLY HONEST. At my calmest, I'm tired of explaining how it feels, to be exploited and rated number one, two or seventeen, FUCK WHAT THEY PRINT IN THOSE DAMN MAGAZINES.SCARS. WOUNDS. I'M USED.Watch me bleed. I'm your beauty. BEAUTY FIEND.Stuck inside this mask of mine. There's no place for me to hide. Won't you please come suck me dry? DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME.Can't you see beyond my skin? SIZE, my SHAPE, my ASS, my TITS? I am not your PRETTY FACE. I'm just a girl, THE GIRL YOU LOVE TO HATE.Watch me bleed. I'm no beauty. BEAUTY FIEND. - My Ruin

My Interests



I'd like to meet:

How about people I've already met?

Jon Radtke: Guitar and backing vocals - Kill Hannah; also likes cigarettes and being one of the nicest people EVER.

Mat Devine: Vox - Kill Hannah; also sadistically charming.

Greg Corner: Bass - Kill Hannah; also merch booth dictator and extremely friendly.

Dan Wiese: Guitar and backing vocals - Kill Hannah; also zombie in spare time and perfect gentleman.

Elias: Drums - Kill Hannah; also highly concerned with the saftey of his fans and pulls off incredible performances with zero practice. Amazing person, really.

THE SMASHING PUMPKINS (Machina Era). There aren't enough words. Met them, briefly, January 31, 2000. There's a lovely little story about two under-age kids, an 8 hour wait, Billy giving me 3 dollars to eat with and the cops that should accompany this, but I won't bore you with the details...

MY RUIN - Underappriceated by the uneducated masses, a fucking maelstrom on stage, perfectly brutal.

Little Jimmy Urine - King of jungle pussy techno pop.

The Insane Clown Posse - Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope. Deceptively nice guys. But don't tell anyone.

Twiztid - Jamie Madrox and The Monoxide Child. Like to chain-smoke and make jokes. My kind of people.

Karl Bernholtz: Vox - Suicide City; also deliquent, avid fan of hair-spray and likes to tongue kiss audience members.

Billy Graziadei: Guitar and backing vocals - Suicide City; also likes to offer free beer and take up the camera space.

Andrei Arlovski: ex-UFC heavyweight champion; also I've had to re-name him from "My Yummy Werewolf Assassin" to "My Yummy 'Garrrh' Pirate." Yummy indeed.

30 Seconds to Mars: Actually from Earth. I'm quite positive Jared was on something when we met. But who isn't these days? Nice guys, regardless.

Matt Hardy: Day job - pro-wrestler for the WWE. Night job? With me.

mc chris: (aka the short fucker in the middle). Very cool the first time we met him, the second time however, he was a douche. He's a rapper with the voice and height of a 10 year old, with asthma to boot. His character sheet would look something like: Physical -3, Stamina -2, Comedic value +3, Presence -1, Rap Skills +2. Good times.

Music:


THE SMASHING PUMPKINS.

MY RUIN.

KILL HANNAH.
Also:

Movies:


Including:

Television:


WATCH ME.

Books:

Heroes:

Muse (n.) 1. A guiding spirit. 2. A source of inspiration. 3. A poet.




Ownlife - (n.) 1. Individualism and eccentricity. 2. A desire to do something for your own benefit. 3. Hobbies, ownership of property, love, or any other Thoughtcrime.

My Blog

Kill Hannah, Denver, CO, 12.17.06 [So hurry and kiss me.]

For those of you who don't know, I flew out Saturday to watch Kill Hannah perform at the Bluebird Theater in Denver, CO. Setlist: Intro Boys and Girls Believer Lips Like Morphine 10 More Minutes Cra...
Posted by Miss Julie advocates Thoughtcrime on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 01:54:00 PST

Oh christ, just put a bullet in me already.

Demolition Lovers by MCR Hand in mine, into your icy blues,and then I'd say to you we could take to the highwaywith this trunk of ammunition too.I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets. I'm tryi...
Posted by Miss Julie advocates Thoughtcrime on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 04:44:00 PST

Planet Hoth.

  It's been a bitter day, but I've made the best of it. I played Final Fantasy VII again for the millionth time, made coffee, drank sake, ate pancakes and curled up next to the howling window to...
Posted by Miss Julie advocates Thoughtcrime on Fri, 01 Dec 2006 08:13:00 PST

I'm not entirely anti-social.

To prove to all the skeptics out there, here's photographic evidence that I'm not a total recluse. Not totally. Some of these are from Halloween. Some are from the bar (otherwise known as my second ho...
Posted by Miss Julie advocates Thoughtcrime on Thu, 23 Nov 2006 12:07:00 PST

JuliE & AlyssA: The KH Chronicles *updated*

Just as a refrence point, this entire charade started because of this picture (stolen from another profile on myspace, and edited without permission by me)... ...where Alyssa and I determined t...
Posted by Miss Julie advocates Thoughtcrime on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 04:59:00 PST

S.U.I.C.I.D.E (Girls, that is.)

So my friend Lindon and I took a trip down the city last night to catch the Suicide Girls burlesque show, of which I'd heard wonderful things. Well, I wouldn't quite describe it as "wonderfu...
Posted by Miss Julie advocates Thoughtcrime on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 01:01:00 PST

Photographic evidence. (Simultanious G&D post.)

When boredom strikes I get creative. Behold, the product of various "photoshoots" I've staged for myself. (Many of you have probably seen these from my poetry page, Gossip and the Devil.) The theme th...
Posted by Miss Julie advocates Thoughtcrime on Mon, 30 Oct 2006 11:30:00 PST

Kill Hannah in Lawrence. Enough said.

First things first, this lady is the reason I able to stalk Mat outside an Urban Outfitters to give him my "perfect" gifts: Thank you Alyssa. Although I doubt you'll ever been anywhere near KS/OK ag...
Posted by Miss Julie advocates Thoughtcrime on Thu, 26 Oct 2006 01:32:00 PST

I need you to believe.

Believer by Kill Hannah It took 8 years just to realize,  no one looks when we say goodbye,dying just to survive, it feels like the first time.All the things that you set aside,all the frien...
Posted by Miss Julie advocates Thoughtcrime on Mon, 23 Oct 2006 07:08:00 PST

It was the songs that saved me.

The Songs That Saved My Life by Kill Hannah Turn up the radio.I need it now more than ever. (More than ever now.)It's the first snow of the year,and something in the atmosphere, is coming here.Fr...
Posted by Miss Julie advocates Thoughtcrime on Mon, 23 Oct 2006 06:44:00 PST