Joe! Joe! >XYZ<

Let me tell you about Joe. Now I know what you're all thinking: " Joe Fitzpatrick was mayor of Hyde in 1982! Surely it can't be THE Joe Fitzpatrick!". Well you're not far off, as the two Joes are related, grandfather and grandson, I wonder why his father was named Phillip, it would have been a much more comedic situation at Christmas dinner if the name hadn't skipped a generation. Joe was born with a physical deformity which left him ginger from the fringe forward. He likes to call this 'natural highlights' but when captured on camera you can see the true extent of this. Much like when a ghost appears on film when at the time there was nothing there. However, every cloud has a silver lining and in this story, Joe's deformity was made up for by his perfect nose and quite good eyebrows. Joe is a 'student' in so much as he gets a student loan. I have yet to witness any other evidence of this, unless you count going to 42s, a popular student passtime I believe. Other favourite hobbies of his include dribbling in girls' hair, zombie impressions, and taking photos of himself on my mac. He lives in the getto, in a crack den. He owns a filing cabinet. Im not sure what's in it. He also owns 2 flatmates and a satanic cat called Sex, but he is not allowed to have his heater turned on overnight, that's just plain ridiculous! If you ever have the good fortune of running into Joe you will be amazed by his Tramp Chic apparel. And yes, he does straighten his hair (and yes, they are his own straighteners. That he bought. With his own money.) You will most probably be asked a question such as: "If zombies attacked... where would you go?". Don't dignify this with a response, and don't think he's joking either because he actually has it all figured out. It's one of the many thoughts that keep him amused, he doesn't have a tv you see. Just smile and nod. Thank you.