I like seducing women, genocide, forcing children to swallow bleach, setting shit on fire, inciting riots, carving my name into peoples' chests, mocking children who cry in public, rigging up homemade explosives, dodging police when I have warrants out, ressurecting 80's slang (that's fresh!!), dusting guys in pointless street races with my V-8 Camaro, laughing at the misfortune of others, being a cocky yet charming bastard, eating a lot and not gaining weight, sleeping extraordinarily long hours, terrorizing clowns, craving novelty, lording my intelligence over people, and giving money to bums....cause they tell me they're hungry, and I believe them.
I'd like to meet:
Friends as good as the ones I already have. Women I don't get tired of quickly. People who aren't excessively dramatic. Your sister, if she's hot. Especially the last one.
Music:
I didn't know sexy went away. Why isn't it guaranteed to go up, instead of down? Everything I own is in a box in the closet. Why is anyone concerned with what I know a'bout dey-aat?. I'm not interested in hustlin' any day. Who the fuck IS Mike Jones? Music died about 5 years ago. With very few exceptions, the talent in the industry has become diluted to the point where what was sub-par 5-10 years ago is average, and what was average is above average. I'm 5-10 years older than I was 5-10 years ago, but weak is still weak no matter what year it is. Tell me who's good right now, so I can prove you wrong. If I don't already own it, I ain't buyin' it.
Movies:
All Schwarzenegger, all the time. Especially the ones that have turned into comedies over the past 10-15 years, but didn't start out that way. TRY to watch Conan the Barbarian without laughing. Or Commando. Or Red Sonja. Or Predator. Or Total Recall. I fail to understand why this man does not have an Oscar.
Television:
I hate television. Despise it. There's nothing but junk on nowadays, and cartoons? Don't even qualify as junk. They're in a sub-category of junk where little punk ass electric rats with fairy boys for owners can stay on television for almost ten years and get followed up by faggy little boys who play card games with grown ass men like they're doing it big in Vegas but have to explain what their cards do before they drop them onto magical holographic playing fields like neither one of them has ever seen the game before in their lives. FUCK YOU, I'll use run-on sentences if I feel like it.
Books:
I like books. What, I can't just like books???
Heroes:
Thanos. Niggas better ackrite.
