JON

I HAVE TRAVELLED AND I HAVE SEEN THE 8 WONDERS OF THE WORLD ALL BEFORE I WAS 18, I CAN SING, YODEL, DO ADVANCED CALCULUS AND PAINT MASTERPIECES, SOMETIMES AT THE SAME TIME. I ALWAYS EAT OUT AND NEVER DO DISHES. I RAN A MARATHON AND SWAM THE ENGLISH CHANNEL, I DO YOGA AND VOLUNTEER AT HOMELESS SHELTERS. I LOVE CHILDREN BUT I'M ABSOLUTELY ALLERGIC TO PRETTY MUCH ALL ANIMALS. I HAVE BATTLED EVIL AND LOVED FREQUENTLY. I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO LEAP TALL BUILDINGS AND BUY EXPENSIVE CARS BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN TO A PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY GAME. I COMPOSE POETRY WHILE STARING INTO THE VAST HILLS OF THE NORTH AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO CRY. ON OCCASION I RANDOMLY PERFORM A HAIKU IN MARKETPLACES BUT NEVER IN ASIA. MY BEST FRIEND IS A BREEZE THAT BLOWS FROM THE EAST. I LOVE THE SNOW AND HAVE 5 GOLD MEDALS IN POWER-LIFTING. I FOUGHT MIKE TYSON...LOST...BUT I GOT IN A FEW PUNCHES. I OWN MY OWN COMPANY, STARTED A CIVIC GROUP AND BOUGHT THE EIFFEL TOWER. I ONCE DATED TYRA BANKS BUT DUMPED HER FOR JENNIFER GARNER, WHO THEN DUMPED ME FOR BEN AFFLECK BUT HE HAS BAD BREATH SO WHO IS LAUGHING NOW? IN ONE YEAR I PUBLISHED A BOOK ON CHEMICAL ENGINEERING, FOUND A CURE FOR ATHLETE'S FOOT, FLEW TO GERMANY FOR A BEER, LOST MY BEARINGS IN THE SAHARRAH DESERT, ATE 3 SPIDERS OUT OF NECESSITY, CRASHED 4 RANGE ROVERS, OUTSWAM PIRANHAS IN THE AMAZON, GOT 3 PHD'S, MATCHED MY ROOMATE WITH HIS WIFE, INVENTED 6 NEW WAYS TO COOK CHICKEN, DISCOVERED GOLD, NEGOTIATED PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST, MOPPED 13 MILES OF TILED FLOOR, OPENED PANDORA'S BOX, FOUND RELIGION, MISPLACED MY WALLET AND LOST 5 POUNDS ON WEIGHT WATCHERS.Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4