Benjamin

There is a fine line between apathy and being overly emotional...actually no there isn't, but one look at me may make a convincing case to the contrary. The things that make me happy are very simple and very specific. The advantage of that is that when given access to them I am completely ecstatic, but when I don't have them nothing else will do. I don't spread myself very thin at all, I tend to very strongly emotionally invest in very few things while staying completely apathetic to almost everything else. I am very isolated, 75% of the time it is voluntarily, 15% involuntarily, and 10% of the time I actually get out and do something. Because of my isolation I have an extremely hard time understanding the things people do and say, and your already ridiculous memes seem even more ridiculous to me. I want nothing to do with about 99% of the things the world has to offer, sometimes I try to broaden my horizons but I can't force myself to be interested in things I simply find unappealing. Only one thing I have ever encountered has allowed me to be truly happy, and anyone who imposes on that in any way, shape, or form is dead to me. I am fully aware of my insignificance in the grand scheme of things, and my illusion of importance is further diminishing with every day I am alive. I have to have an emotional investment in the opinion of someone before anything they say becomes relevant to me, and I have an extremely difficult time making that investment. I don't feel as if anyone truly understands me, and any and every attempt to psycho-analyze me has failed miserably. I am an empiricist and a skeptic about absolutely everything, give me your word about something and I will only believe you until I have the slightest reason to think you are lying. Things that upset me always stay with me, I think about them and obsess over them until the problem has subsided. I have many irrational fears, and although I am fully aware of how illogical I can be sometimes, I can't stop these things from bothering me. The things/people I truly care about never become "old" to me, I can see the same thing 20 years from now and still appreciate it the same way (if not more so) I would if the novelty of it was still intact. I am a nihilist and a misanthrope, and although I do not strive to be either I naturally end up being both. On the surface I may appear to be a very bitter person, but the right thing can make my proverbial heart melt.
Oh yes...and Jolene Briana Greer is the sexiest woman alive, and I love her more than anything.
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