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Jen

The revolution will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath.

About Me

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical - summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds...pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum - it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

My Interests

photography, cooking, reading, my dog, slacking, baseball, shopping, riding my bike, beer

Music:

Here are just a few: Led Zep, AC/DC, U2, The Clash, Esquivel, Amon Tobin, Sarah Vaughan, Air, Nick Drake, New Wave and other 80's music, Casino vs. Japan, Smokey Robinson, The Sea and Cake, The Doves, David Bowie, The Jam, etc. etc.

Movies:

All-time top twelve:
1. Star Wars
2. The Godfather
3. Pulp Fiction
4. Repo Man
5. After Hours
6. Desperately Seeking Susan
7. Annie Hall
8. Spinal Tap
9. Sixteen Candles
10. Moonstruck
11. Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
12. Heathers
More recently: Napoleon Dynamite, Office Space, Austin Powers, Rushmore, High Fidelity, Winged Migration

Books:

David Sedaris, Ann Beattie, Charles Baxter, short stories, Ann Rule, true crime, Maeve Binchy, Augusten Burroughs, Michelle Tea