Galvanize

To arouse to awareness or action; spur: “Issues that once galvanized the electorate fade into irrelevance” (Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.).
I've been referred to as a cuddle slut, a stumbling drunk and mischievious
I like good beer, good books and good music
my motto is if it's free it's me
If 1/10 of my life can sum up 1/10 of your life we better get fucked up together
I have some rules I would like you to abide by, lets go over them, they are called:
We Are Not Having Breakfast
Attn: One Night Stand
1. You don’t love me, and you may never see me again.
2. We are on a first name basis only. If you forget my first name at anytime, you may show yourself to the door.

3. Do not quiz me on your name. That is infuriating. And I probably don’t know it.
4. Along those lines, don’t quiz me on your age. I don’t really give a fuck how old you are.
5. If I want you to have my number, I’ll give you my number.
6. We aren’t having breakfast. Breakfast is reserved for friends. I repeat, we aren’t having breakfast.
7. You need to leave before 8 am. To stay later is to imply that you a) want to have breakfast or b) have nothing better to do than lay around in some stranger’s bed. For your own sake, leave before 8 am.
8. Don’t steal my shit. If you steal my shit, I will knife you.
9. We aren’t watching a movie.
10. If you adhere to the above statutes, you stand a slim chance of becoming a booty call (see below)
Attn: Booty Call

1. You also don’t love me. You just think I’m a good fuck. Don’t confuse the two.
2. If you aren’t drunk when you show up, get drunk. Because I definitely am.
3. You know my first and last name. Phonetic spelling is acceptable.
4. You can stay until 9 am. But it would be better if you didn’t.
5. We’re still not having breakfast. You may, however, help yourself to all the water you can drink. My landlord pays for water, so don’t thank me.
6. Don’t steal my shit. If you steal my shit, I will come to your house and knife you.
7. We can watch a movie, but only in the process of either getting drunk or sobering up.
8. You need to wear good underwear. We are neither comfortable enough nor anonymous enough for bad underwear.
9. Drop the act. We’re just sleeping together.

10. Should you follow all these rules, and for whatever reason I find you interesting, I might allow you to have breakfast with me.
If you liked these rules please print them and post them on your door, I used to have them on mine trust me they work.