Joseph Smith profile picture

Joseph Smith

WE THANK THEE, O GOD, FOR ME!

About Me

You know, I noticed that there are a lot of people on this site posing as "Joseph Smith." They are frauds. Most of them are from Salt Lake City, Utah. I've never been there, although I did prophesize about going there sometime. Or was that Texas? Or Mexico? Or Oregon? Anyway, accept no substitutes.

My Interests

militias, horses, plural wifery, smashing printing presses, third party presidential politics. oh, and all that plural wifery is just "spiritual" right? like, i don't break laws of the land or anything.

I'd like to meet:

St. Augustine, Thomas Aquinus, St. Francis, and Jesus, to tell them where they all went wrong.

Music:

I heard of this punk band once called The Gadianton Robbers.

Movies:

hey, did you see that one movie where I was played by "Bull" from Night Court? That was riveting, but I could not get his lovably zany courtroom antics out of my mind, even when he was being doused in hot tar by Missourians.uh, not that it is any fun to be tarred and feathered by MIssourians, mind you. They also threatened me with castration, but as anyone can see, I am having NO problems in the male genitalia department. We will all have big balls in the celestial kingdom.

Books:

I've never written a book. nope, uh uh. never. I can't even formulate sentencifications and I can't read, so how could I EVER even think of writing a book? I don't dig treasure either.

Heroes:

Nephi, Moroni, Mahonri Moriancamer, Ammon, Alma, but not Samuel the Lamanite, cuz he wasn't white.