Lindsay M. Hayes profile picture

Lindsay M. Hayes

Manager/Singer/Songwriter/Ruler of the Universe

About Me

Once a Colombian drug lord, Lindsay spent most of her early teen years in a juvenile detention centre in Memphis, after being detained and subsequently arrested at the Mexican-Canadian border, where officials found $1.9 million worth of crack and opium in her van, on the passengers and on various parts of her body. After her release at 18, she fled to Canada, where she had a fleeting affair with Colin Firth, following his devastating affair with Britney. Lindsay has also been spotted on numerous occasions with many men including: Johnny Depp, Keanu Reeves, Ashton Kutcher, Orlando Bloom, and Johnathan Taylor Thomas. She has also been spotted outside a Vegas hotel with Hugh Grant. Following her return to Canada, Lindsay spent a few months trying to persue a career in puppetry. After she failed miserably and was unable to take over for Kermit the Frog or Ed the Sock, she fell into a deep bout of depression and eventually ended up at the Betty Ford clinic in Michigan. It was during this period that Lindsay formed crutial bonds with Matthew Perry, AJ Thomas and Ben Affleck who, collectively, were able to remember most of the phone number of an agent, who she then looked up in the white pages and called. It is he, that agent, that helped make Lindsay the person she is today. She is very grateful to all the friends who have helped make this special moment possible, especially Jesus, her dog Snuffy and Sean Connery, for showing her the time of her life on that drunken 4th of July.
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JoiN tHe CIrCus That iS mY LiFE!!

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Member Since: 11/7/2005
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My Blog

IMPORTANT

I feel like I should write something important. But what is, at once, not embarrassing and important enough to post on a public blog? What if what I feel is important is just a trivial part of a great...
Posted by Lindsay M. Hayes on Tue, 13 Dec 2005 09:46:00 PST