littering, swearing in church, using terms that are offensive because they aren't "PC", eating crayons, dating your sister, not dating my sister, dungeons and dragons, peeing on your floor while you're sleeping less than two feet away, waking up on your couch naked with no recollection of why/how i got naked, waking up in your backyard, drinking until i have accomplished one of the above, thinking i'm a good pool player until i've lost to everyone in the bar(twice), breaking up with girls, cheating, lying, not telling the truth, pretending my eye patch makes me a sex symbol, being lied to, breaking promises, working fifteen hours in a row, selling frozen burritos, greeting the morning sun with a cocktail, sending alice to the moon, going there myself, flying, jumping, skipping, skip-bo, text twist, pink, sun burned peeling ass, being a dick to hot girls just 'cause, rating all of the hot girls on myspace with a "1" and rating them higher the uglier they get, not recycling, hitting girls, kicking dogs, flushing live goldfish down the toilet with my piss, going to vegetarian resteraunts and ordering a steak, sometimes i like going to those same resteraunts wearing nothing but a three piece suit of raw meat, spitting, picking my nose, scratching my ass
anyone who can tolerate a loud, obnoxious, arrogant, yet still lovably sweet asshole. and by anyone i don't mean 17 year old girls from god knows where in california, whatever fuck band from where ever i don't fucking care, people who make their friends on the internet but not in real life because your a fucking pansy, or dickheads who only talk to me because they want to know "whats up with the eye patch dude?". so pretty much by anyone what i really mean is: unless you're really fucking special and actually have something worth fucking hearing to say to me OR i know you in real life or have met you in passing, don't even fucking bother.
waylon jennings, merle haggard, willie nelson, david allen coe, hank sr., jr., and III, neil young, ibrihim ferre, patricia vonne, shangri-la's, johnny cash, outlaws, charlie feathers, milkshakes, billy childish and dan melanchor, guitar wolf, johnny thunders, tokyo electron, oblivions, nerves, black flag, pagans, richard hell, stooges, wongs, reatards, digital leather, destruction unit, journey, devotchka, heartbreakers, dirt bombs, shivaree, mistreaters, Trex, mono men, radiohead, ramones, chris isaac, modest mouse, smashing pumpkins, beach boys, roy orbison, quentin tarentino sound tracks, persuaders, cutters, sweet, 94.5, patsy kline, john lennon, angry angles, skin flute, drunken karaoke, my winning eight ball shot dropping, you crying, rocks dropping into a low ball, wild turkey gracing the ice, my easy rider bike bell
call me gay, but i need there to be cock in my porn.
not into it. at least i wasn't until i got cable. boy there is nothing better than a good dose of the colbert report. that is one funny dude.
i saw it in books, i read it on t.v.
michael madson in resevoir dogs. particularly the scene where he's dancing to "stuck in the middle with you" while holding a straight razor. "listen kid, i'm not gonna bullshit you, alright? i don't give a good fuck what you know, or don't know, but i'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. not to get information. it's amusing, to me, to torture a cop. you can say anything you want cause i've heard it all before. all you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain't gonna get."