Britt.Riley profile picture

Britt.Riley

I told... you twice... I was only tryin'a be nice, only tryin'a be nice.

About Me

On a typical weekday in Baltimore I took the ghetto subway into work. No negative thoughts this day, just another working robot moving to the beat of a clock. I was a Production "Designer" for a well known investment company in a marketing department that bred pregnant women galor. As I sat at my desk I was editing some pages going to print with the same edits I found myself doing day after day. I pressed the keys and it was oh so quick and familiar "backspace, down, backspace, down, backspace, down, backspace, down, backspace, down, backspace, down, backspace, down, backspace AND THEN IT HIT ME! I need to get the fuck out of here! Shortly after that, I asked my super to go for a walk with me as I told him that I was planning to move out of the state and look for other opprotunities... A month later, here I am in Philadelphia working full time as a Graphic Designer for another financial company.

It was my first week here and right I was for holding in that exahale I was planning on letting loose when I finally felt like I had made the right decision on moving. I drove Short and myself to the liquor store to buy some Grey Goose for some martini's back at the new apartment. Short gets out of the car to a movie theatre size large bucket of coke outside the passenger car door. He passes it with no thought, but on the way back to the car we get in and this tall (I can't belive I'm saying this) kind of cute figured black girl walks by the door screaming! "FUCKIN' PEOPLE NEED TO PICK UP THEIR TRASH!" as she scoops up the Pepsi bucket from the ground looking into my car a Short... I slowly roll down the window and ask her to repeat herself kindly in my most inviting tone (I think that's how I remember it). As I explained quetly and in my calm voice that it hadn't been our cup explaining why Short just passed it by. She screams again. "WELL GOOD MOTHA FUCKIN' THING CAUSE I WAS GONNA SAY IF IT WAS YA'LLS FUCKIN' CUP KARMA WAS GONNA BITE CHYA'LL IN THE ASS!" as to my reply was in the same tone I started with, I'm sure... "You don't have to act like such a bitch!" and there it was in slow motion flying in the air like an oversized drunk cicada the pepsi bucket flies and lands on my windshield busting all over my car. And as she trampled over to my car screaming profanities, calling me an imbred cracker. It was then, folks, that I exhaled and knew that this was the place for me.

Yours truely, every Friday night working VIP at PEARL. www.pearlphilly.com

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

.. ....

Britt Riley's People
He's got friends.

china

mine

trick

crabs

keenon

mj

buck

shakes

yO greg

lovely lucido

tanktop tony

bella

stace

pearl

Wubba

halina

mick

tamera

joey

chadwick

View All of My Friends

..

Music:

I only like it when I sing in the shower.

Movies:

Skeleton key, Unfaithful, Any Sally Fields movie... haha

Television:

Family Guy, Project Runway, Top Chef, South Park and basically Bravo TV with the exception of Make me a Supermodel.

Books:

pop-up books

Heroes:

Poppa Riley

My Blog

Arrested for public NUDITY

Summer is ending and I feel like it just started yesterday. This summer has been a blast for me, being that a lot of my time was free'd up after I got laid off from my design job in King of FUCKING Pr...
Posted by Britt.Riley on Fri, 14 Sep 2007 07:07:00 PST

I think I'm in the TWILIGHT zone

Philadelphia is NOT a small place and that's why the things I'm about to tell you makes me think they're not just some coincidence, but that it's way more than that. This shit is straight up whacked t...
Posted by Britt.Riley on Tue, 27 Feb 2007 03:26:00 PST

The Catastrophies of sleeping in TRAIN STATIONS and ELEVATORS.

I seem to have a stream of 'luck' on the first of the New Year. There were several of those oh-so-special nights that turned out special all right. Especially fucking shitty! But look, shit happens an...
Posted by Britt.Riley on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 01:28:00 PST

GOD WARRIOR Prevails

 This, my friends, may be late - but better late than never. I have compiled a bunch of her and pulled it together for our viewing pleasure. This is my favorite yet.So please be prepared to watch all ...
Posted by Britt.Riley on Tue, 09 Jan 2007 12:17:00 PST

Chronicals of a Jumpsuit - The Death

We were in the process of moving furniture to the trash and we happen to come across some nicer furniture than what we were getting rid of. So it was sort-of like an even trade between me and the tras...
Posted by Britt.Riley on Tue, 10 Jan 2006 08:27:00 PST

Look this one up in your dream book BITCHES!

It was becoming a bit of a problem when my previous roommate/coworker/car pull buddy/friend in Baltimore was beginning to not believe me when I was telling her every morning about these new whacked ou...
Posted by Britt.Riley on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 08:54:00 PST

GOLDEN SHOWERS smell like flowers

A few years back on a brisk day in October, I drove to my (soon to be) new apartment 45 minutes away from my hometown, where I would reside for the next 2 years. Though I was excited to go to school a...
Posted by Britt.Riley on Tue, 03 Oct 2006 08:59:00 PST

Could you hold this for me...? WHAM!

On a day trip to the shore with Holly, we got to talking about meaningless things as always. However, as we're talking, one of the cheesy pop stations is playing faintly in the background and we happe...
Posted by Britt.Riley on Tue, 18 Jul 2006 07:34:00 PST

You look better on MYSPACE

Yes I posted a bulletin about this earlier called PLEASE DELETE ME but I found even MORE pictures to make myself look worse than I already did... So this ones for the NASTY.Most people put their best ...
Posted by Britt.Riley on Thu, 22 Jun 2006 07:16:00 PST

On the set of a Randy Blue PORN.

Gotta love my boy Adam. We dated about a year ago and things just worked out better as friends. Months later he decides to do porn... Hmmm... intereseting... I was totally intrigued and happened to ha...
Posted by Britt.Riley on Tue, 06 Jun 2006 05:28:00 PST