VEHANA

Terence McKenna's Ex-Library

February 7 a 5-alarm blaze erupted in an old building in downtown Monterey. The fire started in a Quizno’s sub shop, that exemplar of tasteful dining, and went on to thoroughly destroy a number of joints, including Goomba’s Italian Restaurant, a Starbucks, and some storage offices belonging to Big Sur’s Esalen Institute—ground zero for the human potential movement and now an upscale New Age resort. Esalen lost little of their own archives, the vast bulk of their books, photos, audio and videotapes residing elsewhere. Unfortunately, the institute was also using the offices to store the amazing library of Terence McKenna, the visionary psychedelic bard who passed away in 2000. The plan was to eventually install the books at Esalen, a place that Terence loved but which is hardly associated with scholarly pursuit. That plan will never be realized.

For those who knew Terence or enjoyed his library, the fire is a tragedy, and not simply because it consumed his private papers. Terence's library reflected the multidimensional facets of his own mind: mysticism and history, drugs and dreams, science fiction and systems theory, natural history and art. Terence was a head who fed his head with books more than the drugs he became known for.

Terence became a bookhound as a wee lad, and stumbled across amazing finds along his tangled way. One time, on the way to India, he came across a Theosophy library in the Seychelles that was closing its doors, and picked up its large collection of occult literature, all bound in red leather, for peanuts. The top floor of the home he built on the big island of Hawaii was designed partly to gather his thousands of volumes in one place.

Terence's brother Dennis owns an index of Terence’s collection, which will at least give us an overview of his library—sorta like a playlist without the MP3s. But even this valuable document will not replace the body of knowledge itself—a body that had become, in the weird ways of the memetic world, a kind of second body for Terence’s fabulous and fascinating mind. No budding head will ever be able to poke through this collection again, with its faintly perfumed volumes on Chinese alchemy and butterflies and hash. And the world has one fewer 1659 folio of Isaac Casaubon’s A True and Faithful Relation of what passed between Dr. John Dee and some spirits, and one fewer old-school copy of Agrippa’s Three Books of Occult Philosophy, which Terence swapped for a pound or two of yummies back in the day. I am the flame that burns in every heart of man, and in the core of every star.
I am Life, and the giver of Life; yet therefore is the knowledge of me the knowledge of Death.
AL II: 6
CURRENT MOON about the moon

Another reminder to be careful what you ask for - you may get it

Quotes

This is one of the most interesting charts I have ever seen

It takes a lot of pain for a 12th house or 1st house moon or sun natal placement to ask for help

As far as your chart goes, I noticed a couple of things that stood out to me

1) You have a Grand Cross aspect in your natal chart. This is a most difficult aspect, referred to as "your cross to bear" in this life. It will not be easy for you ever. You chose this for ultimate soul growth. You will grow a lot from your painful and difficult experiences if you choose to learn from them.

2) Chiron is conjunct your son. Chiron symbolizes our wound, he is the wounded healer. This is the place in your chart where you will experience that woundedness. For you it is conjunct your sun, it is part of who you are, your very soul purpose

I do see your moon and sun as indicators of someone who withdraws to heal

You have missed too much happiness in your life

Since Pluto is squaring your Venus and Pluto is in the 7th house. Pluto likes to take control....and being in the house of relationships this can cause a lot of problems when your partner doesn't want to be controlled
The Sun was in your twelfth house at the time of birth. This may indicate a life full of limitations, obstacles, and human opposition

You have tremendous self- control and reserve, and are often too independent. In love as in all other areas of your life, you are ultra-cautious. There is usually a practical reason for initiating any relationship. However, once committed to someone, you are most dependable and trustworthy

The key to a more harmonious existence lies in sharing your thoughts with the people you are close to

Your awareness of yourself is influenced by your momentary feelings, and this perception is subject to rapid changes of mood and emotion. In time, you will learn to understand why you react as you do to various situations, and then you can begin to change your response patterns and take more control of your life

Others sense your lack of emotional self-sufficiency and tend to get involved in your personal affairs, even if you try to prevent it. You express your sensitivity through an emotional need to nurture and be nurtured by others. While you would like to have guidance and supervision concerning your goals and objectives, it would be better to achieve your aims independently so that you will not feel obligated to others

The advantage of this position lies in your ability to sense other people's needs and desires

In fact, you have a calming effect on people who are under stress, and this makes you ideally suited for working with the public

You are a mass of contradictions - making demands on people but complaining when they do the same to you; expecting others to make overtures to you and withdrawing when they do. Although you are highly imaginative, you react to stimulating people in a generally negative and critical way

On the surface you are independent, but you yearn for a quieter role in which you can enjoy the comfort of knowing that someone really cares for you. This can only happen when you lower your defensive barriers and learn to compromise by meeting people halfway

You must be attentive to the possible presence of several challenging elements in your intellectual make-up such as depression, fear, and severity

Internally, you are quite different from the way you present yourself externally

O mother, without the Guru,
Divine knowledge is not obtained.
Man without knowledge wanders around,
weeping and crying out in various ways,
but the Lord of the World does not meet them.
The body is tied up with emotional attachment, disease and sorrow,
and so it is lured into countless reincarnations.

"If the words 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness' don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on."
~ Terence McKenna

I write to express my feelings, and to dance with you, from my inner soul

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." --Andre Gide