Mathias with Eyes of White and Black

About Me

"But now that I can see it all from a lonely hilltop, I know it was the story of a mighty vision given to a man too weak to use it; of a holy tree that should have flourished in a people's heart with flowers and singing birds, and now is withered; and of a people's dream that died in bloody snow." -Black Elk Speaks
I am about so many things, but one stands out above them all. I am the secret eye. I am a dreamer in my own world. Less an intresting artist or cute shy boy, but the real thing, no pathtic pervertions or amazing ideas. A not-so-ojective watcher of my world. I have learned those odd things we are not meant to know. Accidental and purposful spying adds up over many years.
Beyond that I spend most of my days in chase of my chosen way in life: to help people. College is just a step to it or away as it seems. Maybe one of these days I will find my way there. Though I believe I am failing. My "great" vision appears weak now. I will have to find another way to continue on.
I like to watch our world. It is my greatest pleasure. Too bad our world is ending perhaps. And that is what I truly waiting for...

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

I like to meet good people and if not good at least honest people. People who see past themselves to the greater needs of the world. Not saints but people who contain empathy for the world around them. Not martyrs but people who are willing to give. This above and the ability to be respectfull of others is all I really look for. I don't expect everyone of my friends or lovers to be just like me. I hope they can respect me and show cocern for their fellow humans. I will try to return it as well. I will not claim I have a perfectly respectfull manner or never act thoughtlessly. Lastily, I need people who can take a joke because I constantly tease my friends as well. People I like and get comfortable with are teased ever so often by me. Ask any friend or girlfriend of mine.

Heroes:

All that die for others. All that suffer because they made the wrong descion for comfort to do good in our world. All the peoples of the world that struggle to keep their sacred old ways and languages. I look to the people of this world that heed the words the Creator says to us through our spirits. To their words that many ignore despite reading them their whole life. Anyone who can remind me that I am not alone in my wandering to some enlightenment or to achieve balance and respect with all of creation.

My Blog

As a Fatman...

This little quasi-poem/rant was sparked by an evening in which I read too many things bashing fat people in general. Made me think of my childhood and early teens when it seemed I thought I was below ...
Posted by Mathias with Eyes of White and Black on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 10:16:00 PST

When I Am Weak

In my youth it was only amongst disaster did I realize my true strength At that moment when all hope seems gone When I secretly hope it would end I accidentally explode with the strange untappe...
Posted by Mathias with Eyes of White and Black on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 09:44:00 PST

Endings

I stand seeming alonePerhaps I carry something importantOr do I fool myselfDoes it still liveOr has it been dead before my great-grandparents Or would it live better without meDo I pull it down with m...
Posted by Mathias with Eyes of White and Black on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 11:23:00 PST

Radom Texas Memories

I just found lots of people from my past on My Space. I assumed I'd never see them again. Funny how this internet can change all that. Remembering things I never thought would come up. Strange how far...
Posted by Mathias with Eyes of White and Black on Thu, 26 Jan 2006 10:28:00 PST

Random Survey wee!

Random Survey. Thought I would try one. What is your name?: Mathias Are you named after anyone?: My great grandfather. What's your screename?: AIM is wicotademiye (means I am death. I lik...
Posted by Mathias with Eyes of White and Black on Mon, 23 Jan 2006 10:32:00 PST