I hate Led Zeppelin. I am deathly afraid of snakes and the Big Sleep. I can convince anyone of anything. I'm passive agressive. I'm learning to bite my tongue. I try to speak through song, but that rarely works. I've tried to speak in tongues, also, with very little luck. Jimi Hendrix is another topic that I don't like. My mind usually has one track. The bass guitar track. Lately I've been converting months into a percentage of the average human life and that depresses the hell out of me. I will admit when my ideas and thoughts are irrational, but will not attempt to change said ideas and thoughts. When I first joined myspace, I wrote the longest About Me of all time, and only Mike Gittings read it. I was born on the day after my mother's 23rd birthday. It was on Father's Day, exactly 39 years after the Father's Day that Harry Nilsson was born on. Upon looking up other Father's Day trivia, I came upon a Father's Day Fact Sheet . One of the first factoids you'll learn on this page is this...
Reason We Celebrate Father's Day:
To honor Fathers.
My mother went to high school with Go-Go's drummer Gina Schock. You will rarely hear me say "B-More." I'll be jokey and you'll find it hard to trust me. I can throw nearly 250 pitches with very little elbow pain. If I throw more than 250 pitches, fuckin' bag 'em up. I repeat myself so often at age 26, that I shudder to think what I'll sound like at age 76. My pace is typically set to be a step quicker than whomever is walking on the other side of you. I've found that my opinion of beaches has grown immeasurably over the last year. Like, favorably. To some, I appear to be mildly interesting. I've recently moved out of the The Sanctuary For Dateable Boys. Apparently, you hadn't heard about this. I'm either highly competitive or an asshole. I'm either passive aggressive or correct. I'm not currently interested in topsy-turvy so don't be topsy-turvy with me. I write songs mainly because I want to impress Mike and Mark. I have a sinking suspicion that the driver in front of me is heavily influenced by whatever my blinker suggests is an apt next move. Carl Filipiak taught me a valuable lession. So now if I fuck something up, I'll fuck it up again and act like I meant to do it. Lession. I shudder to think what'll happen when I stop liking myself. If you like something I own, more than likely, I’ll sell it to you. I won’t sell people. Nor do I own any people. I don’t want to own anything. My interaction with children is typically scripted by last night's Letterman. I'm starting to really dislike the Rolling Stones. I went through a long McCartney Pop Genius phase, coupled with a Lennon's a Joker phase, a George Harrison Just Seems Like A Real Normal Grounded Nice Cool Guy period, and have now settled into a John Lennon's The Best zone. No disrespect to Ringo, but only irony leads to a Ringo's The Dude ideology. Never match me up against a DJ. Its a little known secret that I preferred to be called just "Chris." I don't mean to make this sound like I'm a really bad person. I can be alright, and in the long term, I will be alright. Topping my "List of Dislikes" is when my favorite television programs resort to the old "72 hours previously..." trick. Secretly, I put together a rather wretched and disturbing Year 26. My life is [becoming] just like the Showtime original series Californication, minus the sexy stuff.
