Dan profile picture

Dan

Pantless individual scares nun, intrigues priest. Story on page 7.

About Me

So you want to know something about me eh? And this is the best way you could think of? Some stupid website for whiney pathetic 'tards and the fake-titted Cali hoes they ogle 24/7? Please. Although those guys do crack me up. Right buddy, like leaving a "Hey, thankx 4 the add, ur hawt" comment will do you any good. Just because she accepted the friend request doesn't mean there was any synaptic activity going on inside her head when it happened. But have fun prentending, because, after all, that's what the internet is for. As for me, well, I'm not sure why I'm on this website. Probably to make fun of people who deserve it, which is pretty much everyone on myspace. Especially Dane Cook. He's terrible. Go ahead, give me the superfinger. Just make sure you take your hand out of your ass first. I don't want you to get hurt. But hey,long story short, I went to NYU, I'm from Philly, and I like blunts (in spirit only, I stopped blazing), 40s and bitches. Sexy bitches. Oh, and soccer. Word.

My Interests

Unironicly wearing ironic t-shirts, playing soccer, drinking Cacique, drinking any other rum, rolling blunts, philly sports teams, using "irony" when i, like everyone else, don't really know how to use it, hablando en spanish, asking cops where the rest of the Villiage People are, panhandling in subways while wearing Armani suits, panhandling in subways while wearing absolutely nothing, playing various forms of poker, ass-raping homophobes, and, of course, hanging out with crazy people. they're just so much fun.

I'd like to meet:

Whomever writes for this site: http://roughingthereader.blogspot.com He's brilliant

Music:

Some steady favorites are Sublime, 3eb, the Doors, the Roots, Dire Straits, Alkaline Trio, P-Funk, and of course, Pat Benatar. I could probably go on for about 70 more lines, but i've noticed that when people list what seems like every fucking band they've ever listened to, I dont read the lists, thus defeating the point of getting strangers to think I have good taste in music, which i do.

Movies:

Rocky, American Beauty, Super Troopers, True Romance... pretty much anything depressing or funny is great as far as I'm concerned... I recently saw Little Miss Sunshine... it was awesome.

Television:

The Simpsons, Chapelle Show, Six Feet Under

Books:

The Godfather (seriously, it's better than the movies), Shogun, anything by T.R. Pearson, Calvin and Hobbes

Heroes:

John Stockton. Darren Daulton. Ken, the Bartender at Nevada Smith's. Soccer. And any and all of the Dutch Masters - except for that cognac one, he's fucking disgusting.

My Blog

i totally forgot about this thing...

... and remembered that blogs suck.  although i will say that Roots show last night was hotness.  word.
Posted by Dan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

fuck beauracracy in its rigid butt

so my building manager arrived to my dormroom today to see the beauty strewn about the walls. the cold-hearted, procedure-following bitch was not pleased. i have the most fucking unique, artisicly a...
Posted by Dan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

well, it's official, I'm a tool

well, it's official, I'm a tool why, you ask, am I officially a tool? Cause i have a blog now. DUH. plus i recently acquired a livestrong bracelet, and despite my legitimate ties to the said cause ...
Posted by Dan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST