I'd like to meet:
the motherfucker who invented the speedbump.
Music:
My taste in music tends toward the Wildean: I'll listen to it if it's good. I don't like anything processed in Orlando and/or Nashville.
Movies:
The following films are, in my singular opinion, perfect:
Wall Street, Midnight Cowboy, Trading Places, A Man For All Seasons, The Lion In Winter, Last Tango in Paris, The Godfather I and II, Jaws, Dr. Strangelove, Animal House, The Wizard of Oz, The Bridge on the River Kwai, The Good the Bad and the Ugly, Sunset Boulevard, Annie Hall, Full Metal Jacket, Chinatown, Easy Rider, Good Morning Vietnam, Gone With the Wind, His Girl Friday, Lawrence of Arabia, Raging Bull, My Left Foot, Cool Hand Luke, Singin' in the Rain, Some Like It Hot, The Apartment, Taxi Driver, Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Place in the Heart, The Deer Hunter, Platoon, The Exorcist, Five Easy Pieces, Vacation, The Big Lebowski, Good Fellas, Casino, Fargo, The Lost Weekend, Network, Scarface, Shawshank Redemption, Silence of the Lambs, 12 Angry Men, Airplane!, Shine, Bull Durham, Amadeus, Do the Right Thing, Glory, Key Largo, Monty Python's Meaning of Life, Rocky, L.A. Confidential, When Harry Met Sally, Patton, Spartacus, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Harold and Maude, Seven Year Itch, Babe, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Down and Out in Beverly Hills, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Midnight Run, The Princess Bride, Slapshot, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Up In Smoke, Ed Wood, Goldfinger, The Verdict, Elizabeth, and The Royal Tenenbaums.
Nearly perfect films ruined by Andie MacDowell: Groundhog Day, Four Weddings and a Funeral.
The worst movies I've actually seen: Showgirls, Commando ("Why don't they just call him Girl George and cut out all duh con-fyoushun?"), Iron Eagle ("I want dos PIGS blown out of the sky!"), Red Dawn, Road House, Men Don't Leave, Orca, Dawn of the Dead, Slumber Party Massacre, Porky's Revenge, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, Cocktail ("Everthing ends badly. Otherwise it wouldn't end."), Cool as Ice, Independence Day, The Toxic Avenger, Head Over Heels.
Television:
Law and Order, Sopranos, Miami Vice (seasons 1 and 2), Northern Exposure, The Jerry Springer Show, Cheaters, Blind Date, Nanny 911, Twin Peaks, Class of 96 (if you like this show and actually saw it we need to have coffee), Daily Show, All in the Family, Mr. Ed, Looney Tunes, Ab Fab, ChiPs, Da Ali G Show, Airline, Wife Swap, Without a Trace, Moonlighting, L.A. Law, Grey's Anatomy, G.I. Joe, Chappelle's Show, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Get Smart, House, Monk, Night Court, NOW with Bill Moyers, My So-Called Life, Real Time with Bill Maher, Santa Barbara, and Sex and the City.
Books:
Perfect novels I've read: The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald; Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov; Sophie's Choice, William Styron; Slaughterhouse Five, Kurt Vonnegut; Another Country, James Baldwin.
Near-perfect novels I've also read: The Confessions of Nat Turner, William Styron; Tender is the Night, F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Sound and the Fury, William Faulkner; A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway; Mrs. Dalloway, Virginia Woolf; A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, James Joyce; All the King's Men, Robert Penn Warren; The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway; Portnoy's Complaint, Phillip Roth; On the Road, Jack Kerouac; The Book of Daniel, E.L. Doctorow; The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, Michael Chabon; The World According to Garp, John Irving.
Stories: "A Clean, Well-Lighted Place," by Ernest Hemingway; "The Swimmer," by John Cheever; "The Things They Carried," by Tim O'Brien; "Descent of Man," by T.C. Boyle; "Babylon Revisited," by F. Scott Fitzgerald; "The Snows of Kilamanjaro," by Ernest Hemingway; "The Writer in the Family," by E.L. Doctorow; "Where I'm Calling From," by Raymond Carver; "And You're Ugly Too," by Lorrie Moore; "I want to Live!" by Thom Jones; "Hills Like White Elephants," by Ernest Hemingway; "Crazy Sunday," by F. Scott Fitzgerald; "Good Country People," by Flannery O'Connor; "Why I Live at the P.O." by Eudora Welty; "The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber," by Ernest Hemingway.
