I am not human, as a matter of fact, I am annoyed by humans. I don't hate them, I just feel better when they're not around.
Most of my friends are not human. They, like myself, are descendents of a master alien race, that inner bred with early man long before the Dawn of History. We appear to be simple humans, but we possess a recessive gene, one that provides us with a powerful right arm and an insatiable desire for distilled refreshments. Loud music often aggravates this trait and our superpowers emerge, requiring us to hoot and holler and shout "Fuck Yeah!" as we fly the fist. These characteristics are what differentiate us from the typical boring person... From humans.Being such complex creatures, we are naturally sensitive to certain elements, primarily light and oxygen. You can find us, often, congregated in damp basements and dark, cavernous establishments where you can find the proper mixture of oxygen, carbon monoxide, and assorted airborne carcinogens.So, the next time you see a lonely fist and hear a faint "Fuck Yeah!" from behind the crowd, think to yourself...
