Maynard [Write in Ron Paul for President!]

About Me

My name is Maynard and I'm happily married to my guitars. I'm way into polygamy, and the guitars love it. I'm off the dating market, because my guitars do tend to get jealous when there is a girl around. I love music a lot as long as it has some kickass guitar in it. I absolutely hate rap, pop and any other piece of shit music composition that was put together with no musical talent whatsoever. Disagree with me? Listen to Tool. You'll want to kill Britney Spears and you'll never want to hear another rap again. Eminem, Snoop Dawg, Jay-Z, and every other rap artists will be on your death list by the time Vicarious is finished. Guaranteed. I also fucking hate drugs and alcohol. Sure, it's fun to be around every once in a while because its just funny to me to push drunk people around and watch them stumble, but I'll never put that shit into my body. I fucking refuse and that's final. No, I am not straight edge or Mormon. Thanks for reading. Ummmm... Piss off. :)

My Interests

Music. Guitar. Music. Last Of The Fucking Bloodline. Music. Tool. Music. Work. and a little more music. Metal is my favorite.

I'd like to meet:

Anybody. People who love good music. People who like to give hugs. I like hugs. They make me happy. Give me a hug?? ^_^

Music:

I play guitar for a band called Last Of The Bloodline. They fucking rock. I love jamming with these guys. I learn a lot and its a lot of fucking fun. Check us out! www.myspace.com/lastofthebloodlineutFor those of you who ask who my influences are... TOOL, August Burns Red, As I Lay Dying, Bring Me The Horizon, All Shall Perish, 311, Andy McKee, Trivium, Track Fighter, and Victim Effect. But just so everyone knows, TOOL is my all time favorite band. NEVER insult their music. It could spell death for you.Rap sucks some serious shit. Don't listen to it anymore. Don't even listen to Tool until you've gone clean for at least a month. Your ears are not worthy to hear such beauty. To rid yourself of rap, follow these steps: 1. Burn your rap cds or any cd that has rap on it. 2. Go out and buy some Bring Me The Horizon or As I Lay Dying. Start out slow. Apply BMTH or AILD at least twice a day for at least 3 weeks. 3. Take a break. Rest for a week. Don't listen to any music. Get ready for TOOL. (Optional) Pick up a guitar and learn a little AILD or something. Maybe some Green Day if you don't want a big challenge. They're easy and the music isn't bad at all. 4. Buy some Shure headphones, a nice CD player, (an iPod will not work here.) and purchase the CD entitled "Lateralus" by TOOL. Strap on those headphones and listen to that cd all the way through. Tears may come, but it will all be ok when its over. 5. Take off the headphones after the CD is over and go buy the rest of TOOLs CDs. 6. Convert as many other gangsta rappers as possible before your death. Shooting a few famous rappers such as Eminem, Jay-Z or Snoop Dogg throughout your life is optional, but will be rewarded with the highest of honors. Have a great life and long live TOOL.

Movies:

Anything that makes me laugh my ass off is good. Tommy Boy and Wedding Crashers are a few favorites of mine.

Television:

House is extremely funny. I also enjoy Family Guy, Simpsons, and King Of The Hill.

Books:

Harry Potter! The Art of Surfacing, The Doomsday Club, The DaVinci Code, Artemis Fowl, and Where's My Fucking Latte.

Heroes:

My dad, Danny Carey, Maynard James Keenan, Adam Jones, Justin Chancellor, and your mom. Give her a nickel and tell her thanks. I'll pay you the nickel back whenever I see you again.

My Blog

Bring Gas Prices Down!!!

"He who controls the oil controls the world." Very true, and Bush knows it. So he attacks Iraq. Gas prices since have shot up and at first, America was outraged. Now you don’t hear very much abo...
Posted by Maynard [Write in Ron Paul for President!] on Fri, 14 Mar 2008 04:41:00 PST