robots, when maggots hatch into butterflies, scarabs, buzzards, shapes, when plants grow out of concrete, gauntlets, armour, claymore swords and i really like the idea that a horse may pupate and turn into a chrysalis and eventually emerge as a perfectly developed baby helicopter. my current job, working in the flaming wasp factory. I have to catch gigantic burning wasps using a red hot, 1 ton iron crucifix. It can be pretty hard work but I like it :)
I would really like to meet:A) someone who has survived a plane crash with hilarious consequences.B) someone who has been conicted of a crime and been sentanced to death but somehow managed to escape with literally seconds to spare. With hilarious consequencesC) anyone who has witnessed the murder of a loved one. also, with hilarious consequences.D) people who have experienced something so terrible and shocking it has had an adverse affect on their lives. again, there must be hilarious consequences.
shellac, slint, tortoise, brokeback, fugazi, minor threat, blackflag, ceephax, square pusher, aphex, plaid, mu-ziq, bitstream, boombip doseone, go sailor, send more paramedics, jim o rourke, bit meddler, king of woolworths, ramones, gescom, the who, the beatles, the cardigans, the white stripes, god speed you black emperor, jega, bikini kill, the donnas, the frumpies, tigertrap, bratmobile, the cure, the smiths, new york dolls, the stones, misfits, you know, shit like that.
conan the barbarian, conan the destroyer, predator, mortal kombat. blood sport, american ninja 2, garbage pail kids the movie, tremors 3, tremors 4, critters 2, robocop 3, the thing, killer toys, killer klowns from outer space, robot jox, monster squad, pi. requiem for a dream, coffee and cigarettes, kes, rita sue and bob too, texas chainsaw massacre, Aliens, ghost world, the virgin suicides, Bring it on, anchor man, Kingpin, dumb and dumber, caddyshack, spies like us, national lampoons summer and european vacations, pirates of the carribean, sparticus, papion, cool hand luke, the empire strikes back, blade runner, tremors 2, texas chainsaw massacre 3, dawn of the dead, evil dead 2, day of the dead, cannibal xerox, this is spinal tap, breakfast club, ferris beulers day off, the incredible shrinking man, the ammativille horror, 2001, enemy at the gates, bad boy bubby, princess mononoke, norsika of the wind, braindead, young sherlock holmes, predator 1 and 2, terminator 1 and 2, alien, the brady bunch, starsky and hutch, mission impossible 2, battle royal, the jungle book
I don't understand television. I can't get to grips with it. I'm like a primitive animal. I see the shapes but it's impossible for me to relate to the images onscreen and understand what they mean.
encyclopedias, martin amis, bukowski, and all the other stupid shit that people like to read. I also like books 1960's pornographic stories.
Craig charles (robot wars not red dwarf)