Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Flashing playboy bunny
Dark .......So you sleep in the dark... ....you love in the dark....but i on the other hand.... sit in the dark... .....i put the pills back in the bottle.... ......i'll let insomnia win for tonight...... ...as i lay on what is to be a bed... but to me......a slab of cold ......tension.... ...beneath me... .....for where there maybe comfort....in a pillow...to i it is the numbing pain of thoughts...... that begin to surface..... ........puzzled without a clue why i question life and its logic in....... ...................................the dark.................. ......i let the dark win as well and.... let it consume me, as i let my ...thoughts.......wonder freely around.... .... what is to seem like a bedroom... to me becomes, an empty space.....like ...myself an empty vesicle....the dark eats... .......it eats from the plate of hate, fear,and soul searching.....damnit...i whisper....... .......i worked so hard to control it......to be saved.. .....not to be tampered.....and ........ .....yet you seem to enjoy the...dark... ....to you,its humble, honest, and familiar...as for...... me...... i see the dark.... disfigured, distinguished and disturbing...i asked ...........to be left in the dark....to be alone to..yeah...to only be a witness...of my own....of....... my wrong doing....i witness .........my hate and fear of others,my choice to only see pain... ....that others have caused me....only to realize....that yet again...."i'm alone" ..........i sit straight up....thinking about what’s around.. ...........me...what about me defines who i am?....and in the design of your...humanness.... makes let alone give you the right to question me?.... or.... who i should be?.... ..............................for that matter...................... ....i think about the way i undermine myself...see i have no talisman...no nick-nac .... no one.....to keep me sane... ......to keep me busy...i only have...........the dark...... ...............the dark to hide my non-stable form... .....the dark to...think about the time i've wasted........... ....................i use the dark................... ............i use it as a blanket of...uneasy thoughts...... ...........a setting in which i.... dwindle away....from the pain...or.....more like the world....running my fingers through short hair......and trying....to.... .......bring the thoughts to a close it seems more....comes to surface....as the....chill tickles the dark...............peace of mind......hummm???.....something such as that.....doesn't happen.... ......at least not to me.....not in my soul...nor my mind.....tormented by.... ................my questions...........give me some what of an edge....to ......seduce the thought of peace for me.....for myself....to pray..... ........that it too.....that peace of mind could actually overwhelm me.....and......belong to me and only me...... ......and yet the thought is blown away like a leaf in the wind....after ....being...........blown by the thought....of not deserving.....it ........the words that others speak clouds my judgment of myself......only to .......find that the peace of mind i seek..... may never belong to me..... the....... sad......thing is....my slothfulness’....and my lack of trust ...keeps ....me from what i want.......... ..............so yeah in the end i'm the one who breaks there....own spirit.... .....and knows no mercy....and turns my heart bitter and black like....the darkness i speak of.....before the sky opens......... ............................... to greet this side of the world ..... ....the....the chill asks me all the time.... ....."be honest, do ... ....you... wanna live like this?....like what...i whisper.....in shock..... ....like this i mean, bitter and alone?..... ...heart broken and scared?....... ...or at peace and loved?"...... ......i simply reply....as i watch my breath escape me.... ......if it is meant .....for me to fear no more...... ........and to love another...... ......................... as well.....as find and hold on to peace for....myself.... ....then when you question me again.... .... i will be at a point where.... finally i can sleep.......knowing....that.. ...i too can and will wake up in the morning.... ........... happy......and..... at ease.... ........with whatever the alpha and omega hold for me.................... ........as my eye lids became heavy.... ....the rain tapping on the window...had indeed.......let me know that the thoughts had came to an end... ................and that morning.....is here......as for the rain....i felt...it ......had came to perform it's task....to help me.....help me .....be .....rewarded....so that.... i can push forward.....to see what lies in store.....for someone like me..... .....heart broken, alone, and in the dark......~At 4:46am insomnia just kicked my A$$ ~ (again) ~And i can't spell worth crap~(LOL)