Lucky Socks(¯`·¸•´¯)

i'd say i'm an open book, though some chapters may be written in dead languages. i'm fickle and frugal. a single mom. a high school drop out and a college graduate. i'm caring and loving, and have scars to remind me of days when i wasn't. i'm damaged but who isn't? i yearn for love, but have built walls around my heart. tragic that so many of us do that when those walls that we build to protect us from pain only ensure it. i crave solitude but hate feeling lonely. i love reading and can spend an entire day curled up with a good book. i've been suicidal off and on for my entire life, though i think i've finally come to understand god's amazing grace and so while i empathize with other who suffer those feelings. i know longer do. i think that's why i'm so easily amused and find so much joy in the small things. i love making others smile. i am a christian though not always the best example. i make a conscience effort not to judge others because i think there is so much more to someone's actions than what people see from the outside. i look forward to the future though i'm scared of the uncertainty it brings. i love suprises from the ones i love. it lets me know i was on their mind. i did substitute teaching for jr high last year and fell in love with the kids. so many of them just long to have someone believe in them... i have a bs in psych and am about to earn an adittional bs in criminology. after that the plan is to get a master's in criminology. i'd like to do detective work, maybe forensic psychology... i'd also like to earn a master's of theology... but we'll see about that. i plan on getting my pilots license! and beyond that... at the end of the day - i just hope that i made life a little better for someone else because living for the sole purpose of my own happiness doesn't to work.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

~nelson mandela

"Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair. I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what--at last--I have found. With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved. Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer. This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me."

~Bertrand Russell