ze anner profile picture

ze anner

FINE, I'll get a Subaru. Are you happy now, snow???

About Me

Essentially, I'm like Tina Fey's character, Liz Lemon, on 30 Rock... except for the high-powered, creative job.

My Interests

Jumping follicle first into the the exciting world of hair product! I've been out of the loop for two years but have chopped the mop, gone AWOL from Ed Fury's No Product Revolution and want to hear all about spray wax, volumizers and other such fripperies, thank you very much. Oh, and World Peace.

I'd like to meet:

Toki and the other guys from Dethklok: I also want to "workout" with Trainer Jillian from the Biggest Loser. Oh man.

Music:

Right now I'm rocking a Teenage Bottlerocket, Gogol Bordello, Dropkick Murphys' super fucking awesome radtacular workout playlist. I anticipate being angrily ripped within weeks, NAY, days!

Movies:

Rushmore, Super Troopers, The Big Lebowski, Heathers, Waiting for Guffman, A Mighty Wind, Out of Sight, Goodfellas, Edward Scissorhands, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, All About Eve, Night of the Hunter, The Manchurian Candidate (original), movies that start with a makeover and end at the prom, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Kicking and Screaming, Batman, Wet Hot American Summer, Heathers, Nightmare Before Christmas, City of God, Born into Brothels, Magnolia, Grizzly Man, Rock School (the movie that jump-started my biological clock),depressing documentaries about things like Romanian street children who live in a subway station and huff paint to make their unimaginably horrible lives tolerable, Children of Men, and Pan's Labryinth. Apparently these days I only like movies that are horribly depressing with just a glimmer of tortured hope at the end. Fun!

Television:

Six Feet Under, Six Feet Under, Six Feet Under, Sopranos, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Newsradio, Mr. Show with Bob and David, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Reno 911, Deadwood, Home Movies, Law and Order, Freaks and Geeks, Big Love, The Office (UK) & US, Arrested Development, and Project Runway all hold places in my heart. I also like true crime shows like City Confidential, and lately... I've been watching Cops. I don't know what's wrong with me. I also have a shameful addiction to reality television marathons on VH1 & MTV. EVERYONE WATCH 30 ROCK IT IS HILARITY ITSELF.

Books:

Smoke Yourself Thin and Popular, Drunken Shame - A User's Guide, Who Cares If You're in Public, Make Out With That Stranger! (self-published), Blog Me a River: How Oversharing with the Internet Heals Lives, How to Speak Successory: A Handbook for Motivational Letter Writing, His Dark Materials, American Gods, His Dark Materials, The Corrections, White Noise, Farewell my Lovely, The Black Dahlia, American Tabloid, L.A. Confidential, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, This Side of Paradise, White Man's Grave, Hell of a Woman, The Dark Tower series, The Sandman, Geek Love, I'm Losing You, I'll Let You Go, Infinite Jest, Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Harry Potter, The Wrestler's Cruel Study, Neverwhere, The Secret History, The Bell Jar, Bonfire of the Vanities, Tales of the City, The Dirt, Fargo Rock City, Lamb, Breakfast of Champion's, Cocaine - An Unauthorized Biography, Buried Dreams, Helter Skelter, The Shining, Sex, Drugs and Coca Puffs, Dune, junkie memoirs of all stripes, serial killer stories, High Fidelity, so so so so many more that I can't think of them all. I'm a book junkie.

Heroes:

Johnny Cash, Tom Waits, Ava Gardner, FDR, Frances Farmer, Dorothy Parker, Bill Hicks, Ginger, Kool Keith for fixing our sliding glass door and improving my life at least 7%, and my daddy.

My Blog

driving dangerous curves over dirty streets

Dude! Deej thinks that the horrible events of tonight make for a cool story but that's because he was all tcb (takin' care of business) and ccc (calm, cool, collected) while I was hyperventilating all...
Posted by ze anner on Fri, 30 Nov 2007 09:06:00 PST

bug squishing and the karmic debt that ensues

Okay, so first of all - I just got stung by a motherfucking wasp FOR NO REASON. Yes, the white-hot ouchie of the injury smarts quite fiercely, but the unfairness of this attack STINGS WORSE. The weath...
Posted by ze anner on Sun, 04 Nov 2007 04:11:00 PST

Its memories that Im stealing, but youre innocent when you dream

Okay, so a year or so ago, I wrote this: "I'm so stressed out these days that my mouth tastes like metal all the time? That means I have a brain tumor, right? Right? RIGHT? Le whimper. Next year, I'm ...
Posted by ze anner on Wed, 03 Oct 2007 06:58:00 PST

Fatigue

Here, in no particular order, are the things I'm just... TIRED of:- Thinking about Britney- Self-hating closeted gay Republicans- Perez Hilton (why do I even know who he is?)- Email. I have email fati...
Posted by ze anner on Fri, 14 Sep 2007 06:35:00 PST

i'm the boss with hot sauce

all i care about ALL I CARE ABOUT is the weather. the shock of moving from a predictable type place where the weather is always the same (read: perfect) to this blizzardy coldy slippery oh wait a seco...
Posted by ze anner on Wed, 04 Jul 2007 07:26:00 PST

niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice rack

Today was the suck. THE SUCK. I can't explain exactly why without sounding like the world's most ginormous baby but suffice it to say that it started with me spilling lots of coffee, middled with me m...
Posted by ze anner on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 08:50:00 PST

tell her "i want to squeeze them." she'll know what i mean

This is what happens when Deej goes out of town and I'm left to my own devices... blogging. It's not pretty, is it? He's off cavorting with Utah-style hookers in Salt Lake City (they hold your hand an...
Posted by ze anner on Sat, 19 May 2007 09:43:00 PST

It's been a year since we broke up, smoking...

Time Smoke-Free: 365 days, 6 hours, 4 minutes and 55 secondsCigarettes NOT smoked: 7305Lifetime Saved: 1 month, 25 days, 19 hoursMoney Saved: $1,916.25I rule.
Posted by ze anner on Mon, 07 May 2007 07:10:00 PST

Story of my life... la la la la la

So, today I was a little late to work (boss out of town slackersville wearin' jeans whee!), and as such, my usual parking space was taken. I like to park on the floor of the parking garage that's on t...
Posted by ze anner on Thu, 03 May 2007 10:39:00 PST

Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt

I'm going to write more later when I've had some wine but oh man was this one a blow. I know that no one lives forever... still. RIP Kurt Vonnegut. So it goes. .....And now it's later, and how less sa...
Posted by ze anner on Fri, 13 Apr 2007 04:53:00 PST