once you decide to stop loving- what remains is a slave to the habit.i am far too detail oriented. Usually when i find something about a person I like, i tend to immitate it unknowingly-moreso with word pronounciation, or quirky gestures. so if you say something kinda oddly and i repeat it exactly, dont be offended, it means thats a detail about you that i like and will remember you by from then on- i want to find out how my fingernails get dirty so quickly. if you cant find me and you think im lost then that means i need to be; leave me alone. but if you must find me- look up, i'm probably in a tree nearby observing all the funny little things that people do.
I contradict myself often. i would like to meet you. "you" is as personal as the impersonal "I" it can be used to describe anyone and everyone as a whole, but is meant to be used for indivuality. "You" and "I" neither have a face or beat of step or sound of voice. but "I" will meet "you" wherever "we" end up crossing. then we shall add a sweeter meaning to a combined aquaintance of strangers meaning "us" "I'm obsessed with little things. I was looking at chestnuts falling from the trees, rolling on the sidewalk, or...ants, crossing the road. The way a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trunk...%D%ALittle things. I think it's the same with people. I see in them little details, so specific to each other, that move me, and that I miss, and will always miss. You can never replace anyone, because everyone is made of such beautiful specific details. Like I remember the way your beard has a little bit of red in it. And how the sun was making it glow that that morning, right before you left." uhm...if i could've, i would've wanted to meet allen ginsberg and anais nin.
back to my mellow acoustic self- for now.
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, drop dead fred, amalie, fieval an american tail, waking life, fight club, batman(s), Willy Wonka, Cry Baby,reality bites, untamed heart, closer, royal tenenbaums, igby goes down, beautiful mind, battleground earth.
anything Anais Nin or Sylvia Plath. The Language of Life, Perks of Being a Wallflower, Dont Lets Go To the Dogs Tonight, Sleep Toward Heaven, a lot of anythings really. poetry by marian haddad, naomi shihab nye, judy grahn