Meese - ProfilesArchive

About Me

When the madness subsides and the chaos that was within has slowed to a stop it is then my eyes see everything. Not the simple faces and words so easily spoken at times without truth standing in the shadows, but the inner most feelings and thoughts in angst strain to pour from souls hurt too many times they only feel helplessness and despair. I have been given a gift. To see what they hide but ache to scream. Motionless with dark stares unable to move without exhaustion searing through their veins. But in this silence and still state so sure no one is watching I have been blessed with eyes in my heart. In every season there was fear, pain, addiction, hating the reflection that stared back when I closed my eyes before I saw in hopes I had changed overnight. Prayer had become selfish. If I was scared or needed something I reached out. But then as though it never happened I was all too quick to forget. Dont talk to me about God, it wont make a difference, how can you believe in the impossible with unanswered questions and hypocrisy that permeated from within four walls you call church. I didnt want his house, I didnt want his love. Even more so I was haunted with the belief I didnt deserve it. So when did it all change. It could have been any of those completely obliterated nights masked with liquid pleasure and fulfillment chalk white. When the end is a constant process of thought the only fear being what if it doesnt go exactly to plan. I couldnt reach out directly to him so I searched for him in others timidly asking little questions and analyzing their every step. I realized for the first time in my life it would have to come from within. A decision to take the road less traveled no matter what lay ahead. To put my complete and utter faith and trust into the One I wanted to push away the most. To give up each fix that was entirely me. To love myself for who He has made me and be nothing but grateful for this chance at life I have received. To not waste the air I breath and the days so beautiful my heart was too dark to see. I dont know when, I dont know how, all I know is when I gave it all to him, there was peace. Unlike anything I have ever felt before he has made my life anew. I am blessed to be in the midst of beautiful people with beautiful hearts. So much talent, love and life comes from those I can honestly call family and would give my life for. I long to not be the fixer of the ones who struggle as I have, but the leader to those who have given up and wander lost in a world so corrupt and shadowed with grief and deception. I dedicated my life long before the chaos to get in the minds of the weak and guide them to strength. I find pleasure in their sad stories and suffering. I have been physically walked through a harsh road and spiritually pulled from the trenches all to realize it is only so I can walk with others on their road and lead them to the one who inevitably will save their souls. With this I thank God for every tear. For now he has filled me with incredible strength and a spirit that longs to be just like him. MyGen Profile Generator

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Bands! Go to Alpineventura.com/booking and fill out the form! And add alpine booking below. 3 Oh ya and anyone who acually read my about me.

Music:

Coheed, AFI, Emery, The Bravery, Shiny Toy Guns,The Listening, HIM, The killers, Gorillaz,The Used, Keane, Pinback, Le Meu Le Purr, Park, Eisley, Fionna Apple, Sheryl Crow, Now we Are Six, Sunset Radio, Briertone, Spoken, Mastodon, The Warriors, Maylene and the sons of disaster, Throwdown, Story of the Year, Stutterfly, Hot Chip, Death Cab, Postal Service, Now We Are Six, Panic at the Disco, Radiohead, My Chemical Romance, Audioslave, Fall out Boy, Blood Brothers, Coldplay, Oasis, Aerosmith, Ozzy, Black Sabbath, Nirvana, Bob Dylan, Alice in Chains, Poison, Alice Cooper,Pink Floyd,Lynard Skynard,

Movies:

What about Bob,Crash, My Cousin Vinny, Donnie Darko,Saw 2, Running Scared, SLC Punk, Bad Santa, The Devils Advocate, American History X, Scarface, Saw, Dazed and Confused, Fast Times, Mystic Pizza, Cocktails, Gummo, The Birdcage, Dont tell mom the babysitters dead, BIG Elf, Endless Summer II, Finding Neverland, Fight Club, Oceans 11, Face Off, Goonies, Night at the Roxburry, Groundhog day, Hostage,Independence Day, The Rock, A League of their own, Swingers, Death becomes her, Captain Ron, christmas vacation, son in law, catch me if you can,

Television:

LOST. Golden Girls. Will & Grace. Family Guy. Reno 911. MXC!

Books:

Running with scissors, Bad Twin, Battle Royal, The Family, Omerta, Fools Die, The last Don, Capone, This Present Darkness, Still life with Crows, All the Harry Potter books,The Da Vinci Code, Historian, Memoirs of a Geisha, Angels and Demons, Derailed, Chronicles of Narnia, A clockwork Orange, The Poet, How to Make Love Like A Porn Star, Lovely Bones, Go Ask Alice, Auschwitz, Bible Code 2, The 5 people you meet in heaven, Stiff, I hope They serve beer in Hell, A Time to Kill, Book of the Dead

My Blog

A four letter fallacy

What is love. Honestly. Someone tell me. The answer to this question is buried deep in the souls of only those that can simply see past everything of this world. If love is patient, if love is kind, i...
Posted by Meese on Sat, 06 Jan 2007 04:29:00 PST

We might as well be strangers

Here is that air again I sit in the background With the lights turned off Your presence haunts me And I can still feel you After you've gone And I guess it will never be known And I. I silently sho...
Posted by Meese on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 12:20:00 PST

Sew My Heart

I watch these darkened shadowsOn the walls of my mistakesHere voices scream in silenceHow I long to know my fateStand cold I'm digging deeper What seems to be my own grave Your words are so close to d...
Posted by Meese on Sat, 25 Nov 2006 09:33:00 PST

Who said ignorance is biss

Tonight I was lurking on some blogs and came across some angry let me try to be philosophical bull shit. There are two kinds of people in this world. 1) People who are educated and speak with confide...
Posted by Meese on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 12:47:00 PST

Evil

I begin to sway back and forth in fear knowing all too well the creator of evil holds onto me tightly from behind. It has begun. Sometimes I can see them. These dark and ill willed creatures with ey...
Posted by Meese on Thu, 24 Aug 2006 11:02:00 PST

The road less traveled by

An unreal supposition

It was accidental. Chance. An unreal supposition, dreamlike in almost every form. An apparition whose words were familiar but unknown. Her eyes deep infused with black fire. She mirrored a reflection ...
Posted by Meese on Fri, 05 May 2006 05:21:00 PST

Faith

How can he say Im better than this. When I cant stop fighting. Im addicted to doing everything in excess. Too much...Too fast...Undying. Where is the end in this complicated madness, when the b...
Posted by Meese on Wed, 26 Apr 2006 02:18:00 PST

The Sound of Silence

I love the sound of silence but tonight even more so. In this dark room the soft hum of my escape and the sound of the words pouring from my soul to the tips of my fingers give me comfort as always. B...
Posted by Meese on Wed, 05 Apr 2006 02:37:00 PST

My Struggle

I didnt have nightmares last night, which is wierd because for the past couple weeks my dreams have been terrible and i always wake up so disturbed. Im still having trouble sleeping, I cant get comfer...
Posted by Meese on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 12:30:00 PST