I watch TV, eat, sleep, draw, same stuff as the crap about me above. I occasionally sing "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell really loudly in my home when no one is there. It makes me feel good inside. I also do many impressions of cartoon characters and celebrities.
Bruce Willis, Mushroomhead, Maynard James Keenan, Adam Jones, Alex Grey, KMFDM, Trivium, Lacuna Coil (Cristina is gorgeous), Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Megan Fox (all gorgeous as well), Brandon Lee and Walt Disney (If they were still alive), Quentin Tarantino, Tim Burton, Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller, and M. Night Shayamalan.
Alas! One frothy night unbeknownced to me, a rabid squirrel stalked me and pounced upon mine head. For when I asked this nut chomping creature, "Why for you attack mine frigid cranium?", it squeaked and gouged out mine eyeballs. As I searched ever so blindly for mine all seeing round ones on the cold snowy sidewalk, it bit me on mine nose. I was all but kind to this small rodent, why must thee insist on injuring me so? I arose from mine knees and wandered aimlessly home without mine eyes in mine hand. I consulted the doctor in the morning about new glass eyes, he stated he would apply them at noon. That was the last I heard of him, for he perished that aft'noon while walking to mine home by slipping on a patch of ice. Poor old man, yet poor old I, without mine eyes, I cannot see. What shalt I do? I returned to thine slumber only to be awaken by a tapping at mine bedside. I felt a tickle of fur 'neath mine nostrils, t'was the squirrel. Not much can be said of what had happened next, the most is that I had been murdered. I remember vaguely how, though I know I was. Mine time had come, I had met mine fate by a cute little furry squirrel.
-Written by Shawn-
12/18/2005 4:27 PM
Thy empathetic quarry doth drone thee of thine whit. That did not make any sense, yet it did allow me to sound sophisticated in a way.As I walked down the narrow path toward mine cozy, quiet home, I turned to mine right and spotted a little person with an umbrella prancing through the woods. He giggled quite a bit, then jumped up a tree only to begin throwing acorns at mine head. I was angry with this small fellow, so I asked him to please halt his actions for I would be very cross with him. He failed to comprehend what I had told him so I threw them back at him. He started to cry, I felt bad, though I shouldn't have because he then jumped down from the tree and kicked me in mine shin and stabbed me with the end of his umbrella. I bled all over the leaf covered ground. He quickly skipped off into the darkness. I got up off the ground and took off after him with as much excess energy I was able to burn. I never caught up with him that night, for I had bled mineself into a coma, one which I had not awaken from until three years later. Luckily, I did not die. A beautiful nurse found me a short time later lying on the cold dark path. She had explained this to me when I had arose from mine incoherent slumber. Her big round...eyes staring at me with kindness. Her soft lips speaking these words to me in mine ear, whispering the tale. She stated that I'd bled so much, she had slipped and fell, thus resulting in her prosthetic left leg. I was very thankful for mine rescue, but sympathetic toward her losing a leg.We went out to dinner that night, she came over mine home, we watched a movie, then fell asleep on mine couch. Later that year, we wed. Four months after, we conceived a child. We became a happy family. Then she died from a severe case of gangrene.
-Written by Shawn-
12/19/2005 10:40 PM
Wow, never noticed the random typos before from typing so fast. So all you dicks who noticed I spelled some shit wrong, there, I fixed them. OK, thank you for your time.
I adopted a cute lil' ninja fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
I adopted a cute lil' death fetus
from Hooray fetus! Fetusmart!
Mushroomhead, State of Conviction, (216), Unified Culture, 10,000 Cadillacs, The Alter Boys, KMFDM, MDFMK, KGC, PIG, SCHWEIN, Schaft and Drill (basically anything any of the Mushroomhead and KMFDM members are involved with, all of them are musical geniuses), Trivium, Lacuna Coil, Blush, Mindless Self Indulgence, Angelspit, Roadrunner United, Killswitch Engage, Soil (when original lead singer, Ryan McCombs was still in the band), Drowning Pool (Ryan McCombs is now their lead singer....R.I.P. Dave Williams), Bullet For My Valentine, Shiny Toy Guns, Dir En Grey, She Wants Revenge, 30 Seconds to Mars, Kill Hannah, Placebo, NIN, Coal Chamber, Ozzy, Rammstein, Pantera, (old) Metallica, Slayer, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Motorhead, Black Label Society, Arch Enemy, In Flames, Lamb of God, GWAR, Earshot, Tool, A Perfect Circle, Otep, Opeth, Cradle of Filth, Leaves' Eyes, Marilyn Manson, Estrum, Sick Puppies, Echoes of Eternity, Flyleaf, CKY, Seether, Shinedown, AFI, Blaqk Audio, Three Days Grace (their new shit, old stuff is way too overplayed), Miss Crazy, Bait, Fireball Ministry, Demon Hunter, Hatebreed, MuDvAyNe, Motograter, STP (Stone Temple Pilots), Rob Zombie, White Zombie, Danzig, The Misfits, Megadeth, Static-X, Kittie, Disturbed, Chevelle, Goldfinger, The Offspring, Radiohead, Spineshank, Type-O-Negative, Shadows Fall, Children of Bodom, "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats (that song makes me dance around the house like a jackass), The Killers, RHCP, Soft Cell (Tainted Love), Modern English, The Verve, Verve Pipe, Queensryche, Jag Panzer, Iced Earth, Prodigy, Pink Floyd, ZZ Top, KISS, the song, "Puttin' on the Ritz" which has been covered by many different artists, Jem, DIO, Jimi Hendrix, Anthrax, Bush, Toadies, Seven Mary Three, Days of the New, Alice in Chains, Jerry Cantrell, Pearl Jam, Candlebox, Silverchair, Live, Gin Blossoms, Days of the New, Smashing Pumpkins, Janes Addiction, The Cure, Black Stone Cherry, shit, who else? Oh Tantric, good band, catchy songs, don't hear from them anymore, and a bunch of other bands that slipped my memory at the moment.
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Juno, Good Luck Chuck, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Superbad, Factory Girl, I Now Pronounce You: Chuck and Larry, Knocked Up, Grindhouse, Disturbia, Transformers, Ghost Rider, National Treasure, National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets, 300, The Invisible, Pan's Labyrinth, The Departed, Babel, Borat, The Black Dahlia, Fullmetal Alchemist the movie:Conqueror of Shamballa, Click, The Illusionist, The Covenant, The DaVinci Code, Sin City, Into The Blue, Domino, Walk The Line, Ultraviolet, Requiem for a Dream, Aeon Flux, Over The Hedge, Stay Alive, Silent Hill, The Devil's Rejects, The Jacket, Assault on Precinct 13, Hostage, Mindhunters, Cellular, Running Scared, Stewie Griffin:The Untold Story, Confidence, The Crow, Kill Bill vols. 1 & 2, Audition, One Missed Call, One Missed Call 2, Box, Premonition, Ju-on, Ju-On 2, The Grudge, The Grudge 2, Crash, Underworld, Underworld: Evolution, The Aviator, Van Helsing, The Island, Hostel, The Last Samurai, Serenity, The Transporter, The Transporter 2, Saw, Saw II, Saw III, Saw IV, Peter Jackson's King Kong, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, POTC: Dead Man's Chest, POTC: At World's End, The Land of the Dead, Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Begins, The 40 Year-Old Virgin, Wedding Crashers, Scooby Doo, SLC Punk, Out Cold, Dead Man on Campus, The Curve, Idle Hands, Not Another Teen Movie, Die Hard, Die Hard 2: Die Harder, Die Hard With A Vengeance, Live Free or Die Hard, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, Cheaters, Beavis and Butt-head Do America, American Pie trilogy, American Pie presents: Band Camp, American Pie presents: The Naked Mile (was ok I guess) Resident Evil, R.E.: Apocalypse, Team America: World Police, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, all the Harry Potter films (I'm not gonna lie, they were good), Without a Paddle, The Amittyville Horror (remake, I never saw the original), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original and remake), Hellraiser, Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Jay and Silent Bob: Strike Back, Clerks, Every Star Wars movie, Blade (1,2,3), Bram Stoker's Dracula, SPUN, Se7en, Fight Club, every M. Night Shayamalan movie (The Sixth Sense, Signs, Unbreakable, The Village, Lady in the Water), Spawn, Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Baseketball, Tomb Raider (1 & 2), The Blair Witch Project, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, National Lampoon's Animal House, National Lampoon's Van Wilder, National Lampoon's Vacation, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, tons of Disney movies (mostly animated), Soul Survivors, Cheech and Chong movies, Me,Myself,and Irene, The Italian Job, 2 Days in the Valley, Very Bad Things, The Blues Brothers, True Romance, Hayao Miyazaki's Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Howl's Moving Castle, My Neighbor Totoro, I still have yet to see Kiki's Delivery Service and the rest of Castle in the Sky. There are a lot more films I have forgotten, but right now I can't remember. I forgot to mention before, I also direct my own short films and skits. Some of which are entitled; Paranoia, Sleepless in Maple Heights, The Writer (working title), a sitcom called Roomies, which we've only shot the pilot for so far, Interview with a Rockstar, The Fortune Teller V.S. Earl Williams, The Sleeve, Dubbing, Shawn's Poetry Corner, Kool-Aid Jammers Celebrity Promo, Punch, Thank You Cleveland, Security Footage, Billiard Bets, The Robbery, Firing Test/News Report, Pepsi-C commercial, Important Message, Revenge, Shawn and Andy's Ridiculous Japanese Movie, Censor Test (takes one and two), and Strange Occurances. There are also a few random music videos. We hope to finally shoot our first big feature film, it is horror film we've been putting off for three years now.
Weeds, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Ergo Proxy, Le Chevalier D'Eon, Gantz, Desert Punk, Vermillion Pleasure Night, Mr. Stain on Junk Alley, Family Guy, Fullmetal Alchemist, Inuyasha, Samurai Champloo, Fooly Cooly (FLCL), Metalocalypse, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Robot Chicken, anything good on Adult Swim. MPD Psycho (DVD box set of all the episodes), Invader Zim, The Simpsons, The King of Queens, Seinfeld, South Park, MADTV, Headbanger's Ball, Beavis and Butthead, Ren and Stimpy, Celebrity Deathmatch, Comedy Central Presents:, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno, My Name is Earl, Las Vegas, Prison Break, Ghost Hunters, House, Cinematech, X-Play, Boobah (those things are friggin' creepy man), Judge Judy, Maximum Exposure, The Shield, MXC, Strictly Sex with Dr. Drew, Nip/Tuck, Iron Chef (Squeezon! Fans know what I mean, if not, you probably won't know cuz it's not spelled the way it sounds), Hell's Kitchen, Ham on the Street, The Soup, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Cash Cab, It Takes a Theif, Mythbusters, Rockstar:INXS and Supernova, The Greg Behrendt Show and that is all I can think of at the moment.
The Black Dahlia by James Ellroy, The Crow by James O. Barr, Blade of the Immortal, Samurai Executioner, Anne Freaks, Line, Le Chevalier D'Eon, and Ninin Ga Shinobuden (US title - Ninja Nonsense), Samurai Deeper Kyo, Deathnote, Monster, and that's about it.
(These three are the heroes of today...)Brandon Lee(R.I.P.), Adam West, Seth MacFarlane. (These are the heroes of yesteryear...) Walt Disney(R.I.P.), Batman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the original Power Rangers, V.R. Troopers, Beetleborgs, Barney the Dinosaur, Little People (when they were pegs, what the hell is with the chubby children?), and Mr.Potatoehead, just to name a few (they helped me throughout my childhood).