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This would be my completely random, misspelled, gramatically incorrect attempt at letting you know a little "about me". Me and this attempt are an all over the place mess. Also, I am by no means a writer.... I love life and appreciate the oppertunity to experience it. The mystery, the simplicity, the struggles, the challenges, the positive along with the negative. It's all so perfectly fucked, but I believe it's all for the right reasons, and I have to give thanks for life. Of course I am grateful for a place that brings me so much joy that I get tears in my eyes at the slightest vibration of love. My mom and my brother are two of the best people I've ever met. My dad's up there too just on a slightly different level. I absolutely love the feeling I get the moment I notice the mooon is rising on one side of me while the sun is setting on the opposite...that balance I guess. I love numbers. I'm a big "sign" person, so to speak. I love people. I believe in people. I believe in energy. I believe in love mostly. I love every memeber of my entire family. I hate greed. I despise control. I'm not a big fan of money nor it's mother. It saddens me to watch people work their asses off their whole lives and still barely get by. I love kids and how they do things most adults are scared shit to do...like dance when there's no music, ask off beat questions, or speak from the heart. It kills me when I see people not appreciating and teaching their children to the fullest. Watching people choose crack over children disgusts me. Selfishness disturbs me. Sometimes I wonder what Earth might have turned out like if we hadn't invented launguage and acted on feelings alone. I try to clear my chakras at least once a day to stay connected. I like to save the best for last sometimes. I fall in love with my sneakers and my hoodies even more so. I love how my cousin Anne sings almost everything. If something is going to be more then two lines typed I have to write it first, meaning with pen on something. For some reason my words perfer that method. When I was little I remember thinking that maybe this reality was actually someones dream and when they awoke we would vanish. The sound of ice cubes in a full glass of whatever distracts me into envisioning my mother going up the stairs to bed...basket of freshly folded laundry under one arm and diet pepsi in hand. Swimming is one of my favorite things in the world...maybe the sense of weightlessness and freedom, I dunno. Ever dive underwater and open your eyes on the way up? If you've seen the water and the sky(whatever it's design that day) through a bubble that you've just created then you'll understand why I wish my eye to have a shutter button. I like contraptions. hehe I make up words and phrases that don't mean shit to anyone else. I like driving(in a borrowed car these days) with good loud music and no particular destination. Mini road trips are great too. I do lots of local traveling to not miss great live music. I'm addicted to the feeling in a full room when all the people are projecting love at the same time. I am a reiki practioner. I find comfort in meditation. I love how sacred geometry makes so much sense. Shapes, patterns and cycles are fun to observe and obsorb. I have lots on my mind but never really say much. I'm shy to a fault. If I feel the need to make a point I will. My latest mission is to discover a creative outlet, or several, for all the ideas that are constantly flowing through my mind. Why now and not sooner?...I have no idea. But I do know I'm done ignoring the need and passion within. I never hesitate to make the most of a puddle because shit will eventually dry. I have this thing with shadows and natural reflections. I find it humorous when guys feed me a bunch of bullshit and think I have no idea what's going on. Another of my favorite things to do, night or day, is watch the moonrise over the ocean. Watching it set over the city is also beautiful. I am her and she is me. I can't function if I feel that someone I respect is unhappy with me or with something I did or did not do. I put others before myself and at first couldn't understand why everyone didn't do the same. Then I look at where being selfless has gotten people like my mother and I realize people do the opposite for valid reason. I am easily moved. I cry when people sing happy birthday....you don't wanna see me at a theater or even fuckin disney on ice, I know I'm a mess. Sometimes I buy clothes and alter them...usually making them worse. I could never wear the clothes I really wanted, being morbidly obese and all, so I tend to express my sense of stylee via accessories. Braclets are the best. I feel naked if I forget to pick one for the day. I got lost in a relationship and am slowly finding my path back towards self-actualization. I don't usually like being alone, but I am getting good at doing things by myself(not sure if that's good or bad). I like scars because they tell healing stories of strength, although the new physical one on my face I have not yet grown to love. Laughter seems to be my cure all. People often tell me I'm much too sensitive and emotional, my response is thank you. People also tell me on a daily basis that I look Native American, Spanish or part Asian....I am D none of the above. I am human and happy. My mom always tells me how growing up she wanted a son who was sensitive, caring and not afraid to express his feelings, and a daughter who was, in addition to those things, a strong minded, stubborn bitch that wouldn't take shit from anyone. Then she usually goes on to state how she got exactly what she asked for, which is when I tell her to stop bitching about me being a bitch then. :) So based on perspective I guess I'm a little bit of all the wrong things. I also define procrastination when my mind is not set on determination. I'm at least 5 minutes late for everything and I dislike time. I've been called 'too relaxed' hehe and lots worse. Also if you send me a message and I don't respond for 6 months it's not because I don't love ya, it's because I just plain suck at it. I might also smoke or drink too much and tell you how much and why I love you. I love my brother for my introduction to lots and lots of insanely great music. And I love my family, music and growing up fat for having so much to do with why I am who I am today. I have 0 patience for disrespect towards anyone. The quickest way to diminish my respect for you is to lie to me. The color green refreshes me. Trees intrigue me. Lies baffle me. Realness attracts me. Empty promises disappoint me. Dreams inspire me. And often I just feel like I'm all out of words.....