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flappy

Hot Carls for everyone

About Me

I like long walks on the beach. I like little brown puppies and lollipops and Hamm's the beer refreshing. I like Nascar racing, Tim Mcgraw, and farmer's tans. My dad always told me that if I was a bug I'd be a Jerusalem Cricket. I don't even know what that is. I hope they are purty. I got bit once on my privates by a poisonous bug. It itched something fierce. ONe time I had Pina Colada's and I puked pink goo all over my bed. That was nasty. It smelled like my Grandpa's armpit. I'm a real nice girl, just wanna get to know people. Especially that hot Jeffrey with One F. I gots two childs now, the boy be Jack Henery he's real cute and the girl is named Nora Maria King Ulrich after her grandmas. I reckon those are good names.They are three and one now and I am real busy and tired. But its a good tired. I like to run and am going to be in my first triathlon in two weeks and I have been training like crazy and everything hurts.I been married for eight years to a real vulgar feller. His momma is one of them europeans that likes beer drinkin' and gnomes and he wurnt raised right. I gots a silly lookin' dog named Roger and a big fat grumpy cat named Pita. I live in a real purty place. Lotsa trees and beaches but it rains awful much and theres all these damned hippies runnin' around breedin.'Mazeltov

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Thomas kinkade

My Interests

i am real innerested in jim baker's parrot. what happened to the parrot when he went to jail. you know tammy wasn't gonna take care of it. and parrots live for a long time so its probably still around. and bubbles, whatever happened to bubbles? i like music. books,poetry, art, gardening, liquor, potty humour, movies. good times. outdoor activities, teaching. karaoke, dancing, backpacking, rock climbing, weird fetishes, celebrity mags,running, swimming and yoga. I love to oil paint and write poetry and short stories and I like to work with autistic fellers. I'm real good at that.

I'd like to meet:

nancy reagan, tammy faye baker, rod stewart, gahndi, henry miller, gillian welch, the guy that played booger in the police academy movies, ronald mcdonald, albert einstein, darwin, krishnamurti and the dalai lama.the crazy dude that wanders the streets of my town with a stuffed dinosaur and wears a little kids sailor cap. The Cohen brothers, wes anderson, the guys that made this is spinal tap and all those other wacked out mockumentaries like waiting for guffman and best of show. Cleopatra. Neil Young. Jack White and George Strait. Johnny Cash, Baudelaire, Georgia O'Keefe, Jasper Johns, Jeff Koons, Bubbles, Jesus, the apostle Peter, StFrancis of Assissi, Marie Antoinette.Anais Nin, Coco Chanel, the backstreet boys, Lionel Ritchie. Kenny Rogers.

Music:

kenny rogers is the ultimate rock god of the universe. lionel ritchie,man, everytime i hear "dancing on the ceiling" i go crazy, nutso. I rip off my shirt and dance in wild abandon around the living room. ColorMe Badd, what happend to those guys, they were brilliant. Then there is Peaches and Wesley Willis.Rock N Roll McDonald's is sublime.When I am not listening to those heros of music I like: White Stripes, Wilco, radiohead, Gillian Welch, Beck, Neil Young (I bow down to him), Outkast, Beth Orton, ToriAMos,Tom Waits, The FlamingLips, Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, classic hip hop and funk and rap like Public Enemy, Of course I can't resist those black clad bands of my youth like depeche Mode and The Cure and The Dead Kennedy's or the Sex Pistols, the Velvet Underground and classic Bowie. So much more to love. David Byrne, Talking Heads, Utah PHillips, Buddy Guy, Robert Johnson, Hank Williams I, II, and III. Waylon Jennings, Cat Power, Nick Cave, Ani Di Franco, Howlin' Wolf, Muddy Waters, Otis Redding, Erika Badhu. Crap. Basically I lam not picky. I enjoy classical too as well as Jazz greats like Miles Davis., Bitches Brew- lucinda williams, tom petty, allman bros. some grateful dead leftover from my tie dyed stoner days.

Movies:

Blood Sucking Freaks. INdependence Day, now there was a fantastic flick. ANything with Will Smith is all right by me. Deep Throat. Gigli. The Big Lebowski, Fargo, Waiting for GUffman, Best of Show, Garden State, Donnie Darko, Memento, The Life Aquatic, The Royal Tennebuams, The Jerk, The Man with Two Brains, Debbie Does Dallas, The Princess Diaries, Cheaper by the Dozen, The fast and the Furious, I Heart Huckabebees, Anything with Peter Cellers, Box of Moonlight, The Usual Suspects, David Benoit's Satanism in Rock Music, The Rapture ( i saw it when I was three and it fucked me up for life. who knew God was such an asshole) Rebecca from Sunnybrook Farm, Doris Day movies, especially with Rock HUdson, Anne of Green Gables, Chicago, and much much more

Television:

Bad terrible. Secret love of Regis and Kelly. Passions. Anything on E! Stupid cop shows, true crime murder mysteries that make me paranoid. Seinfeld.Seinfeld.Seinfeld. Arrested Development. SImpsons. Dr. Phil when I'm feeling blue. ONce my kid gets older i'm sure things will change.

Books:

Green Eggs and Ham. The Happy Hooker. Valley of the Dolls, The Brothers Karamazov (the best!) Love in The Time of CHolera anything by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, The Cat's Eye anything by Margaret Atwood, The Tropic of Cancermost everyting by Henry Miller, Think on These Things, Middlesex, The Satanic Verses anything by Salman Rushdie, Of course I love Tom Robbins. Edith Wharton because I can't resist those Victorian mnanners. Crap, this is hard I've loved almosy every book I've ever read-Love Ginsberg and T.S. Eliot, man do I love The Wasteland, Lolita, crap. I could go on and on. Bukowski, Erica Jong, Kalil Gibran, J. Krishnamurti, Steven Hawkings-yes I love physics, Sylvia Plath, And my bird book that lets me i.d. the wildlife I see in this gorgeous north country i live in.

Heroes:

The Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin. Any nut, freak or fruitcake that doesn't give a rat's ass about what poeple think, is devoted and passionate about something, be it collecting antique telephone insulators like my dad, miniature chickens, writing trrible poems and reading them to large crowds, men sporting waxed mustaches, the guy who wears a sleeping bag and has arguments with himself in front of saeway, you know, things of that nature.

My Blog

nutso

Oh my god. What the hell am I thinking? I have three jobs, two kids, a serious painting habit, and I am going back to school tonight to finish my credential program. What the fuckin' hell am I doing?
Posted by flappy on Fri, 17 Oct 2008 08:01:00 PST

Good Christian Boys

Here is another poem from another poetry chapbook called "Holy Roller".  Some of my friends may recognize themselves in these poems, but its what it was and how I saw it all back then. Good Chris...
Posted by flappy on Tue, 26 Aug 2008 03:02:00 PST

Kill the OKie

Well Jef with one 'f' wants me to write stuff. Since I ain't written anything in a while I will post some old stuff. This is the intro to a chapbook I have been working on called Kill the Okie.  ...
Posted by flappy on Tue, 26 Aug 2008 02:57:00 PST

Worhtless Blather

Yes its been awhile since ol'flappy done wrote a blog. I had another baby and can't get to stuff like I used ta. I had a little girl and she is turning one years old on Friday already.Yikes it goes by...
Posted by flappy on Wed, 30 Jul 2008 02:13:00 PST

today be friday, not fryday

Once upon a time when I was 14 my friend come to school with a little white piece of paper and said, "Eat this Flappy." So I did. Then an hour later I felt like little tiny rats was running up and dow...
Posted by flappy on Fri, 24 Feb 2006 08:16:00 PST

having babies

Damn that hurt, Three months ago and it still smarts right fierce. But the saddest of all? Breastfeeding, Havoc. don't care to give details. the reason I am finally able to write after all this time? ...
Posted by flappy on Sun, 29 Jan 2006 09:23:00 PST

today is the lord's day

happy sunday flappy. well I was hanging out at the beach last night and this guy named Jeff (not Jef) came up out of the dark to share my fire. He almost fell into the fire and he was drinking a big ...
Posted by flappy on Sun, 23 Oct 2005 11:06:00 PST

ain't got one

So I been married for some time now. So I know a lot about mens. First of all, they don't talk too much. Don't never trust a man who talks too much cause he ain't got nothin' to say and he might be ne...
Posted by flappy on Fri, 21 Oct 2005 12:19:00 PST

poking dead things with sticks-Flappy on Art

well, it was a real nice day. i WOKE UP AND THE sun were shining and the crows were making all this racket. I didn't have to work today.   I want to talk about art. I like it. I like clown painti...
Posted by flappy on Tue, 18 Oct 2005 08:28:00 PST

Today is Thursday

Today I was in the supermarket and I saw this man with one arm but he had the end of the stump tattoed like a tree stump and you could count the rings and figure out how old he is. He is 53. We had us...
Posted by flappy on Fri, 14 Oct 2005 04:37:00 PST